I'm a few weeks into my second break up post divorce. Was with the guy for a year and rushed into it. We had a lot of fun together and had lots in common but he experienced a major bereavement and depression 3.5 months in and things were never quite the same after that. Physical intimacy entirely stalled after the first couple of months due to significant trauma on his part which he was starting to get help with.
He had a detachment about him that meant that my nervous system never felt completely sure about him. It felt like he had one foot out of the door, even though he said he didn't. We were having such a great time though, and on the face of it had loads in common.
I told him I loved him a few months in which he wasn't able to reciprocate but said he was happy about. Around the six month mark I got upset one night and said that I was looking for someone who could see themselves falling in love with me and living with me in the future. He started to back off and say he wasn't sure after that, but we limped on for another six months. We got close to breaking up once and he came out with all these things about how I was his favourite person and he could spend every day with me, which obviously confused me. When we actually broke up he told me we were very compatible. He'd started to become a bit unkind to me and was being odd about other women. He said he needed to be alone.
When I write all this down I can see that it was messed up but I'm very hung up on him and the relationship. Life feels very grey now. I had new experiences and excitement with him. I don't feel very motivated to do things alone. I managed fine after my marriage split, I was out a lot and doing hobbies and meeting new people. I'd been with my ex husband since I was a teenager. This is hitting differently somehow. I think I was vulnerable and inexperienced.
I'm having counselling, trying to summon some enthusiasm to do things but struggling. I don't think I'm very good company at the moment. Can anyone offer any kind words here?