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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Sisters partner’s dodgy social media

2 replies

Gjk39 · 12/03/2025 22:33

My sisters husband follows loads of random people on social media and I have noticed that a lot of them are teenagers, some as young as 13/14. They all seem to be random rather than known to him as many are in different cities or event countries and have no mutual followers. This first caught my attention as I noticed he had made a new profile which came up on people you may know. It has a different name (was just his name in a different order rather than a fake name) and didn’t have a picture but was connected to his phone number so it flagged as him on my contacts. I clicked it and noticed he had no posts and few followers but was following over a thousand people. He was also following a page called ‘teen shout out’. I then checked his main profile and although less obvious, he is also following lots of these accounts from there.
We have always got on well but I have always found their relationship strange as he was 26 and my sister 17 when they got together but they have always seemed to be well suited and happy and have been together 9 years with no dramas that I know of. They have recently got married and are expecting a baby which makes this worse!
I don’t know what to do about this. I don’t know if I can tell my sister about this when she’s pregnant but I don’t know if I can just ignore it! Also, even if she knows, it’s not just about their relationship, this kind of behaviour should be reported surely?!

OP posts:
TY78910 · 12/03/2025 22:49

Bloody weird.

Nothing to report - it's not a crime to follow accounts. BUT who knows what else he's hiding.

I would just say to sister 'have you ever noticed your DH following list?' And go from there.

Don't do the whole 'I have something to tell you. I think this, I looked at this' etc as it becomes confrontational.

Ask leading questions. 'What do you think about these accounts?' 'Did you know he has a new account?'

She will piece it all together herself.

OchreRaven · 12/03/2025 22:55

This is an awful position to be in but I don’t think you can ignore it. So he is in his mid thirties and he’s searching for teens on instagram? Disgusting. If true this is not a good man. And if it’s not what it looks like he can prove that.

I would say something to her like ‘hey it’s so strange this came up on insta the other day. Is this X other account?’ Let her see it. She can then make her own decisions but I would gently suggest that the people he follows was a bit strange. You don’t want to come in too aggressive. She may get defensive, especially if pregnant. But you know her best, just be supportive.

Maybe an anonymous tip to the National Crime Agency too so you know you did your part to protect any children he could be talking to.

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