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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

I am unhappy

3 replies

Zoftspins · 12/03/2025 21:18

I have been with my partner for 2 and a half years. A couple months in he started to get ailments and injuries so he has been on and off sick at his employer. A lot of these injuries were caused by his employer but they continue to gaslight him and others who are injured and refuse to give him an office job. He did the office before but he and others were pushed out due to company corruption.

Through this time we last went on holiday 18 months ago. I met him for a drink earlier and he was moaning saying we need to book a health spa the weekend as we don’t do anything. I said to him I have suggested it many times and he always said no because he didn’t feel well. He then said yeah I was right and that we need to just do things now. It annoyed me he tried to blame me.

I feel depressed as I have put on over 2 stone since being together. We eat out a lot and buy snacks. Before I met him I was very healthy and went hiking and to the gym. I know I can’t blame him but I feel as though he has taken me off track and wish I had someone who was healthy.

He said last night he wants to eat healthy and then tonight he was eating a burger at the pub. I didn’t as I wanted to eat healthier at home and save money. Just the same old promises.

It is not much of a varied life and I want to be happy again.

OP posts:
Lanifers · 12/03/2025 21:21

So you need to continue doing the things you enjoy. The gym, join a hiking group, meet new people. It’s not your job to stay in and babysit him.

Id also be suggesting to him that he finds another job where he can sit down.

Maitri108 · 12/03/2025 21:23

You need to take responsibility for putting on weight unless he's a feeder. You're also responsible for your own happiness.

If you don't take responsibility, you'll wander from relationship to relationship looking for something only you can provide. A good relationship should be the cherry on top.

You don't need an excuse to finish a relationship.

HappyAsASandboy · 13/03/2025 11:16

You don't say whether you live together. I am hoping not!

If you don't live together, my advice would be to get on with your own life, doing the things you enjoy. You don't have to do those things with him just because he's your partner, so crack on a hike/travel/gym etc alone or with whoever you want.

When you're happier and your life is fuller, you'll be able to see clearly whether you want to spend time with your partner or not, and whether you enjoy the things you're able to do with him.

As others have said, you don't need a reason to leave a relationship. In fact, if you don't live together, you don't even need to leave the relationship, just live your life and the relationship will either enhance it or fall away.

Don't do things with or for him *just^ because you're "I'm a relationship" Flowers

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