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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Eight steps to femicide - BBC documentary about stages of controlling behaviour that lead to violence

9 replies

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 12/03/2025 16:32

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0029395

I think this documentary should be played to all women and girls contemplating entering a new relationship with a man, especially one they hardly know, or worrying about the controlling/violent/obsessive behaviour of a man from an existing or previous relationship. If this is you, or you're worried about a friend or relative or colleague, please do try to listen. It's very clear and not too long. It's not an easy listen, because of the subject matter, but this is so important.

Professor Jane Monckton-Smith talks through her research on the eight steps that lead up to femicide, i.e. a woman being murdered by a man. She covers controlling and coercive behaviour and stalking. The whole thing is illustrated by a tragic case that happened in Northern Ireland in 2017. This is the blurb from BBC Sounds about the programme.

At least two women are murdered every week in the UK in a domestic abuse situation. Newspapers often call it a crime of passion. ‘He lost control’. But what if that’s not true? What if there was a blueprint that, if recognised, could save a woman’s life? The Homicide Timeline contains eight stages that track the escalation of a controlling relationship from before a couple even meet right up to homicide. Families often say “I wish I’d known”. This programme will tell them the signs to look out for so that they do know, and can stop it.

File on 4 Investigates - Femicide - BBC Sounds

The eight stages that mark a relationship’s transformation to murder.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m0029395

OP posts:
Dery · 12/03/2025 16:57

Thank you for sharing this. It looks extremely important.

Umthisisabitawkward · 12/03/2025 16:59

Thank you for sharing this. I’ll be saving it to show to my daughter when she’s a bit older.

myplace · 12/03/2025 17:07

How do we make sure that we can intervene? Sometimes it’s like watching a car crash in slow motion.

I don’t mean we personally, but how do we break that progression? It should be the men and boys we target, and the justice system should take seriously these early steps- and stop this crime of passion nonsense.

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 12/03/2025 17:36

myplace · 12/03/2025 17:07

How do we make sure that we can intervene? Sometimes it’s like watching a car crash in slow motion.

I don’t mean we personally, but how do we break that progression? It should be the men and boys we target, and the justice system should take seriously these early steps- and stop this crime of passion nonsense.

Couldn't agree more, although I haven't a clue how we would do that. But in the mean time, if women and girls (or those close to them) were just a bit more aware of the warning signs, surely it would help at least some of them.

OP posts:
CarpeVitam · 12/03/2025 17:49

Will definitely give this a watch, OP

WinterMorn · 12/03/2025 17:58

Is this being shown on terrestrial TV?

Gasp0deTheW0nderD0g · 12/03/2025 20:30

Radio 4.

OP posts:
WinterMorn · 12/03/2025 20:33

thank you

wizzywig · 12/03/2025 20:34

Her book is amazing. Well worth getting

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