Does anyone have an ex/father of children like this.....

[BarracuddaYouda]

Ex is a narcissist..
Left him years ago as he was so abusive. Bitter family court battle which eventually saw a 70/30 split.

Obviously, I would never tell DD to withhold telling him anything but I'm finding he's becoming increasingly competitive.

Examples:

Took DD to a simple caravan holiday in half term. We had a lovely time. Upon telling him about it, apparently he's now taking her to Disneyland Paris. No mention Disneyland Paris ever before... but if it comes to fruition that's great for DD.

Taught DD to ride a bike. Upon telling him, apparently bought the biggest most expensive bike for her.. she's too small to ride it atm.

Bought DD two small pets which she has wanted for ages. Now she's a bit bigger at 7 she can help me look after them. Upon telling him, he's now apparently getting a dog.

I am positive when DD tells me and keep it neutral by saying things like "that's nice" etc..

I get the impression that DD understands what a ridiculous man he is by his constant one upmanship.

The next thing is DDs birthday. I've organised a party and invited the closest friends from her class and her friends from activities and nursery as well as my friends with children. Apparently he's going to be organising a whole class party... not that he knows any of DDs friends.

Does anyone else have an ex like this and rather than being happy for their daughter constantly tries to outdo you?...

It gets rather tiresome.

I don’t have an ex like that. But I feel for you OP that sounds like you need the patience of a saint.

my mum has some tendencies and sometimes I find myself holding my breath and counting to 10 before I engage.

Yes!

I can say that my son has realised what happens the older he’s got. He loves everything we do which is never as grand or extravagant and hang on to the fact that he’s getting experiences with his father that I couldn’t give him.

All of that said, I’m the one he talks to about everything and I’m the one he wholeheartedly trusts and considers home.

Your daughter will realise for herself one day and in years to come she’ll also realise how nice you were throughout it all. In the meantime I hope she can some enjoyment from his daft behaviour

He does do an awful lot with her. There's always a soft play or trampoline park or some kind of activity but DD is just as happy doing crafts at home or if you read with her.

He was incandescent with rage once when she made a card for me at school once. I think they were doing something where you had to say thank you to someone and DD chose me. DD said it was a card with a rainbow and me and her under it. He found it in her book bag and first of all accused me of putting it in there deliberately then he threw it in the bin.

Imagine doing that to your 7 year old daughter.

I always acknowledge him on Christmas and his birthday by letting DD pick a card and small gift. The gift always returns back in DDs back pack.

I'll carry on though.. for her not for him.

It’s hard work! You’re doing great. Just keep a bottle of wine handy for trickier times!

Yes I'm sure the competitiveness is a bit annoying, but I can think of a lot worse. At least he's involved in your DD's life and willing to do stuff with/for her. My ex would never have organised a children's party in a million years! Let him get on with it and enjoy that everything is not all on your shoulders as unfortunately it is for a lot of single parents.

My ex was a narcissist but has never done anything for his children. It must be irritating, but at least your dd knows she's loved by both parents.