Can you tell if you will have chemistry via apps?

[ThatZippyMauveNewt]

Do you think you can tell if you will have chemistry with someone online via a dating app without meeting in person?

Also what do you think makes it more likely to click in person?

No, you need to be in their actual presence for several seconds.

It doesn't matter to me how well we get on online, if you've got dirty fingernails, bad teeth etc you won't get to first base.

Nope no way. People are totally different in person

I honestly found the best thing to do was to arrange a first meet up and treat that as a “do I want to go on an actual date with this person?” Which may sound odd but worked for me!

I think that some people are great at text chatting and some just aren’t. So there may well be chemistry (or not) but it’s only meeting in person that really helps.

(I’m also very aware that I come across as deathly dull in app chatting, I just find it difficult and tiresome. I’m much nicer in real life.)

Definitely not in my opinion. Being in someone's presence gives you a feeling, something unwritten and not possible to put in a profile that you can only experience in person.

No, but you can weed out the semi-literate.

@JenniferAnistonForReals This is one of the reasons i don't do OLD anymore. I can tell in seconds if there is chemistry or not. There is nothing worse than having your time wasted by travelling to meet someone and not stand them in person.

I know the advice is to meet quickly but if your match on Hinge is an hour away it's not really practical.

The older I get I just can't be bothered and being single is easier.

I can talk to people but rarely meet anyone I like.

No.

And so, it would be silly to get carried away before you meet, and displays an emotional immaturity and desperation.

@ThatOchreDuck I think the same. I'm normally a good judge of character probably why i scare some people away 😂

@teenmaw Yes i agree with that. Even talking on the telephone I find not much use for determining chemistry.

I read advice from a well known Agony Aunt who wrote for a newspaper a long time ago

Her top tip, was to meet someone in person & to smell them

Evidently, it is all about the pheromones !

Oh absolutely agree with you with OLD being pointless because of this.
I'd say over 95% of the blokes I met, I would not have looked twice at had I met them in person. And im sure many thought the same about me. A freeze frame photo does almost nothing to convey them.

You need to have a lot of time available to waste if you want to do OLD.

@arethereanyleftatall Oh I have had the usual crap 'I love you' and all the other love bombing. I turned round and said I think you need to see a psychiatrist and give your head a wobble 🤣

Lol, indeed. I had similar, didn't respond accordingly, to which he said 'I don't feel like you're feeling this'
Of course I'm not you bellend, we haven't even met.

@arethereanyleftatall Yes and that is something I don't really have a lot of.

Travelling an hour to meet a complete stranger in person is not worth the effort. Ok if you live in London and within walking distance.

@arethereanyleftatall I reckon there is a lot brain rot in these men on apps!

Ah, I set my radius to around two miles because I also didn’t want to travel for an hour. Or eventually date someone who lived an hour away. But I live in a big city so I know this isn’t an option for everyone.

You've just got to meet in person, I actually met my partner through a social and wouldn't have had it any other way. Any in person events you can find are winners. Real life all the way 😂

I would've said I didn't think it was possible to feel chemistry via an app as I hadn't until I started speaking online to my now partner. We exchanged numbers and he was funny, intelligent, nice and showed interest in what I was saying. The first day we exchanged numbers was a Friday and we ended up agreeing to watch the same film (one I'd recommended) that night at the same time. We messaged constantly throughout and he made me laugh out loud via text which no one had ever done before. We met for the first time the following day and luckily for me he was exactly the same in real life, just as lovely, funny and nice. And here we are four years later! 😀

No thats why it never worked for me.

I prefer to hunt for men in the wild.

Online dating is arse about face - you date someone, then you get to know them.

Real-life dating, you get to know someone, then you date them. also, local knowledge warns you off the losers.

No. Until you meet face to face it’s impossible to know. Even if you have calls where you think you click, you can then meet face to face and think ‘oh no’ - it happened to me.

Even things like their clothes, their demeanour, their scent - you can’t tell til you are facing each other in person.

I had that chemistry / connection once , the first time we talked rather than messaged. Talked for about 2 hours, we really did have a special connection. Talking is good, video call better, meeting best. Anything else online could just be completely fake and you have to think about that possibility with OLD, catfish and abusers are good at creating fake connections.

I did internet dating for the best part of a year. I went on regular dates with lots of men who seemed like they may have potential (in as much as they can do after 2-6 days app chatting).

Of those many men, less than 5 I was immediately attracted to, and only one of those I would have liked to have continued into a relationship with (he didn't as he was having too much fun meeting lots of lovely women, in his words).

I've given up on apps now, and left it to the gods. The first week off apps I met a guy in the wild who is attractive, but I can't see it being long-term, although we are still chatting. So for me, that's worked much better than apps.

Absolutely not.

@Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou It doesn't work for me either. I just think it's a lot of time wasted on people you would never of bothered with if you had met in person.

I am not someone who likes social media either so unless your that way inclined I think it's all waste of time.

Imo generally no, but occasionally.

More often than the opposite - I think there could be but then there isn't in person.

Only very rarely has it worked the other way around for me.