His Crazy Ex

[Eyerollexpert]

Why when women meet someone new are they so eager to believe the man version of crazy ex etc,?
Why? I gave up on men long ago but on here OPs are so keen to be against the ex. Is it insecurities? Why don't woman treat this as a warning to how they might be painted at the end of a relationship? Effectively a red flag?

Internalised misogyny? Women set up to see each other as rivals and defining themselves by their relationships?

When you're looking at someone through rose tinted glasses, the red flags just look like flags.

(Don't know who said that but my son saw it somewhere.)

Internalised misogyny - some women want to believe that men are hapless victims of conniving and vindictive women.

A belief that they can 'fix' him and his past pain.

A desire to prove that "not all women are like that" and a belief that he will love her more if she shows him that she is different - after all, if he was willing to stay and make a relationship work with a woman who treated him terribly for so long, just imagine how committed he will be to a woman who is not like that!

A feeling of certainty that they don't need to worry about him going back to her and a belief that his gratitude she isn't like that will keep him with her. A belief that he will look at her and not be able to believe his luck.

Lots of reasons and none of them good. All of the above are reasons that have been given to me by female friends over the years for going out with a dickhead.

Many women do treat it like a warning sign. That's why we aren't with those men.

I never believe that. I think it's a massive red flag if the exes are all crazy or to blame for the break-up, it shows a lack of accountability on his part. I've never had anything end well that started like that.