Why is this happening??

[Messeduplady]

Hi everyone,
Im hoping I’ll be able to get some advice on how to move forward in my relationships.

I’ve been single 2 and a half years - before that I was in an abusive relationship for 7 years and I went through hell and back. To be honest the hell is still ongoing due to financial ties but hopefully will soon come to an end.

Im going through counselling for PTSD from the abuse trying to heal.

I’ve been dating , I’ve met some lovely guys but I seem to keep repeating a pattern. Everything goes well , I think it could go somewhere and then out of no where I don’t like them anymore. There’s no particular reason it just happens and I can’t bear to be around them. I feel awful because they’re lovely people who are interested in me and then it’s as if a switch flips overnight.

what’s going on? and now I’m terrified I’m never going to find anyone that I love like my ex and I’m going to be alone forever. It’s really starting to worry me and I’m not sure how I can get over this. I’ve given myself over 2 years and It still feels like I’m never going to be able to move on.

You're just not ready to trust yet, and that's absolutely fine. A couple of years isn't that long really. Keep your focus on yourself and healing. The right person will hold your interest.

Why don’t you give a go without a man. A man doesn’t make you whole. You make yourself whole.

It's too soon. Two years to get over abuse is obviously not sufficient for you.

@Devianinc for the first 2 years I’ve been on my own - it’s only been the last 6 months I’ve been dating which is why I’m so confused. I’ve tried to do it the right way by just being by myself

Try reading the book 'attached', I found it helpful.

I would enrol yourself on to the Freedom Programme particularly if you have not already done this. This could also help you move forward. In the meantime cease dating and love your own self for a change.

6 months in finding a partner is no time, don't put the pressure on to find a new relationship quickly, what's the rush? Assuming you aren't in your 90's, if it takes 5 -10 years to meet a new partner, then it's better to wait for the right person, it's also common for most people dating to have some short lived relationships, it's normal to work out who is/isn't for you, one day you'll meet someone that over powers any feeling you had for your ex.