Does not having any friends really matter?

[RainyWednesday]

Well, no friends is probably an over-exaggeration, but very few friends and no really close ones

I've always been fairly introverted person - I'm pretty happy with my own company and find many social situations stressful. When I was at school I had a group of close friends but we all went off to separate universities, so I'm in touch with very few of them and see them even less. I made new friends at uni but over the past few years we've been steadily growing apart - again I'm in touch with a couple of people but rarely see most of them. This time I haven't really made a new group of friends to replace them. At the same time, since meeting and marrying DH a few years ago (though not necessarily related) I feel I've been growing apart from the few friends I do still see. Essentially I now find myself in the position, in my early 30s, where I have no close friends except DH.

My question is: is this a bad thing? Is it even abnormal? When we're teenagers, magazines tell us that boyfriends come and go but friends will always be there - but I'm not really expecting DH to go anywhere! On the one hand, I am a little that I've seemingly turned into one of those girls who drops her mates as soon as she gets a partner, but then aren't DH and I supposed to be a partnership/unit?

I don't see its a problem if you're happy, though by posting here suggests you maybe aren't. I'm generally like this and have been for bout 6 yrs now. Just starting to get a social circle of friends (not v close) which is fun.

I don't think it's abnormal and i'm sure many people find themselves in a similar situation. I think it is only a problem if you think it is, if you are happy enough without many friends then fine.

Doesn't really matter unless you are worried / lonely or things go wrong with DH. Does he have friends or similar outlook to you i.e. you are enough for him?

Personally could do without a number of my friends but there is a core group that I love and need to have in my life. DH is great but would never say he is my best friend

Well it's not abnormal, a lot of men are like that aren't they.

As to whether good or bad, think it's very personal, but I do think it's nice to have some friends other than dh. My dh was depressed a while back so was not a terribly good friend at the time (not his fault) and my own friends are what got me through this time.

i don't think it's a problem, as long as you are happy with it.

In our social circle, 90%+ of our friends are DH's. I don't have that many I'd call 'my' friends IYSWIM, but I do have probably about a dozen 'girl' friends, but we tend to phone / e-mail as we don't live close together (from OZ to USA!!)

All that said, DH is still my best friend by a very very very long way and I'm sure he'd say the same about me.

I am in the same position.

Most of the time it doesn't bother me, I enjoy my own company and am good at entertaining myself.

However, when DP is out with his friends that's when it does get to me. I look through my phone and think "who could I call" and there isn't anyone!

I am not sure how to rectify this, or even if I want to. I think the problem is that good friendship requires work, you can't just meet up with people on the odd occasion that you fancy it and it's time and effort I just don't feel like giving.

I am probably very anti-social and do miss the times that I had a big circle of friends but hey, that's how it is. At least for now.

It is not abonormal. I don't have many friends, and only 1 "best" friend. Although she and I live in different countries.
I am happy with that.

I find it stressful in social circumstances, too much pressure on me being chatty and entertaining, which I am just not.

rainy, i don't think its abnormal at all, i do think though that as you get older it is a good idea to have an interest outside of home/family/husband etc. i think it helps us to be more interesting to our partners (and ourselves) if we have a bit of a social life/hobby iyswim.

i'm naturally quite gregarious and need lots of people in my life, but my husband is my best friend.

I don't think it is abnormal at all and if you are happy with it that's fine. Many introverted people don't need many friends at all. I on the other hand am an extrovert and would find it really depressing to have no friends that I could call and talk to or meet up with.

My intorverted husband always comes back from social events exhausted and I usually come back happy and refreshed even if I was really shattered before going .

Different strokes and all that.

It would matter as great deal to me. But you aren't me, and you don't have the same needs and priorities as I do, and that doesn't make you weird. I'm almost hypersociable, I need people like others need food or cigarettes, and I become extremely depressed when I'm lonely and I think that is a bit weird ... if you are happy as things are, then it's not weird!

If you are happy that is all that matters.It would only matter if you were upset by the situation.

Same her Colditz. In some ways it is easier if you don't need other people as much. It is also quite a lot of work to maintain the friendships but as I say for me lots of people in my life essential for me not to become depressed.

Hee hee - thanks ladies

It's not something that really bothers me but I do occasionally wonder whether it should!

DH is pretty introverted too I think. He moved a few hundred miles to be with me, so doesn't have any friends locally - we see them when we go back to his home town and I think he emails occasionally but we both have a horror of the phone.

I am actually quite grateful to be an introvert. My grandmother is very extroverted and really needs people to be around her all the time, so when they're not then she gets into a terrible state - I like being content in my own company

I'm currently a few months PG and we will soon be moving (again!) to be closer my family, with whom we enjoy socialising (which might be abnormal ) and I'm guessing that having children will also mean broadening our social circle a bit