I'm still waiting...

[Sparklyreader]

Hi,
I'm wanting some advice please. I have been with my boyfriend for a year next week. However, we split up for a month, and now we're back together. When we were initially together, it took him 6 months to tell his parents about us! I got to know the family, and everything was great. Even though my bf seemed worried about telling his mum that he had a girlfriend. We got back together a month ago, and he still hasn't told his parents we're back together. Bf lives with his parents at the moment, claims it's never the right time, and keeps making excuses, saying his mum will argue that we're back together. He said he really wants to tell them but is mentally cooked. He is always around my house, I don't complain. Also he only calls me on his way to and from work because he doesn't want his mother to hear. Mummy issues? BF bought his own flat in November, and he still hasn't moved in! Said home was comfortable. Generally he's a good guy but with regards to telling his parents about us, I'm not happy. Bad lifelong partner? Would really appreciate some advice, please.

A) He's slagged you off to his family while you were broken up. He's now embarrassed to tell them you are back together.

B) They don't actually approve of you or like you and weren't glad when you broke up. He's now embarrassed to tell them you are back together.

C) He's had another woman round while you've been broken up.

What are his good points? Is he funny, loving, kind, likeable, reliable, honest and brilliant in bed? Because if not, throw him back.

Bad lifelong partner! If things that should be simple are this difficult at this stage, think how difficult they will be after five, 10, 20 years, OP. He seems to lack autonomy.

First poster nails it.

why did you break up?

What's the point in dating him? Like, how does he improve your life?

This should be the honeymoon period! Why hasn’t his mum told him to move into the flat he owns? Who does that!

What everyone else has said. Don’t waste your time.

Why does he say he hasn’t moved into the flat? Have you seen it? Why couldn’t you meet there? If it’s real.

He said his mummy's house is more comfortable 😄

Ah @Garlicgarlicgarlic missed that 🙈

@Sparklyreader ye gods!! another sap of a man! get rid!

Thank you so much! You've all said what I've been thinking!
I lost my husband to suicide 4 years ago. He became coercive before his demise, and it was a part of my life I wanted to forget. Not a great marriage tbh. I did't say I'd been married because of the circumstances. My Bf found my old facebook page which I haven't used for about 8 years and it said I was married, and he finished with me! I wanted to explain everything to him but he didn't give me the chance!

Also when I ask him if he is going to tell his mum about us, he said, ' he's too tired, and he's gertting pressure from everywhere', and yet, he's not too tired to mend his bike that evening!

omg 🤣 I don’t think you need us to tell you what to do.

She must not be cutting the apron strings if she hasn’t booked him out too!

How old is your boyfriend?! This type of behaviour is what I'd expect from a very young man in his late teens/very early 20's. It sounds as if he's very much dominated by his Mum, and seems to struggle to be assertive and make his own decisions. The fact he's bought himself a home, yet is still living with Mummy, is plain ridiculous! His behaviour doesn't bode well for any long-term relationship. He's likely to go along with his Mum's opinions, he'll put her first and you'll end up being bottom of the pile. Honestly, you need to run for the hills, this isn't a grown adult male, but a manchild, still attached to his Mother's apron strings.

So you had been seeing him for a year and hadn’t been upfront that you had previously been married.

Wow! If this had been the other way around the cries of LTB would be deafening!!!

Do you think I should have told him I'd been married, even though it was awful, coercive, and I didn't want to relive it!
Thoughts?

@Sparklyreader really? I tend to think - I’ve been married, it was an abusive relationship and he killed himself tends to work its way into most relationships..

it’s obvious to everyone that this relationship is also another unhealthy one possibly in both sides.

he isn’t ready to commit and you have your own issues to work on before you get in another relationship.

please walk away knowing you deserve and can have better one day. You are worthy of someone’s love and not being hidden.

You could have just said you were a widow and didn’t want to talk about it yet?

You should have told him you have been married, but that's water under the bridge now. You have a bigger problem now. If mommy isn't cutting the apron strings, neither is he. This type of man will always be a mommy's boy. You will never be as important to him. My goodness, he owns his own place and hasn't moved in! How much more evidence do you need? Pull up your big panties, and dump baby man.

Sorry big girl panties.

He’s putting his mother before his girlfriend and it is odd. i do wander if he’s telling his mum more than you think regarding your relationship and that’s why he doesn’t want you near his mum or want you on the phone whilst she’s there. odd that he’s bought a flat but stays at home with mummy. I would tell him to grow up and move out of his mums or you’re done.