In an argument how does you dp/dh speak to you compared to how your Dad spoke to your mum?

[DrNortherner]

My Dad has never said fuck off/piss off etc to my mother. If he did it would be grounds for divorce. You just don't speak to her like that

When dh and I argue, we throw obscenaties around, me more than him sometimes but I would never be offended.

How about you, are you offended? Would you scream HOW VERY DARE YOU if he swore at you?

(the fuck off thread got me thinking about this)

Oh no, we don't swear at each other. I don't like that, personally. however, we do swear a lot in general conversation!

oh me and dh swear at each other and are really nasty sometimes
my parents never argued like that. It was all silent looks and sulks on my Mum's side - my dad was just very pedantic in an argument but never raised his voice

My father never used obscenities with my mother either, although I remember her doing it (but very, very rarely and she would never have said anything like "fuck").

I never swear at dh but dh does swear at me sometimes and I hate it. I have asked him not to but he just does not get why I find it so offensive. As he sees it, he swears in everyday speech, so why not in an argument? TBH I don't really have an answer, I just have an almost visceral reaction to "fuck off" being said to me and can only conclude that it stems from the way it would have been regarded when I was a child.

we rarely argue, although we have the occassional bicker. we might mutter a swear word under our breath as we leave the room during a bickering session, but that's it. We've never called each other names either.

and it wouldn't make any difference if my father swore during an arguement- he swears so much generally you woudn't notice the difference!

Dh and I do swear at each other if very very angry...I've been know to trow things too . We don't generally swear in everyday conversation though....well not strong swearing.

My mum would on occasion swear at my dad but dad always kept calm and didn't rise to it.

I think it's the Italain blood in me and my mum that make us somewhat 'emotional'!!

I can never remember either using th ef word and i can't imagine dh's parents would either. dh never uses swear word in normal conversation - just when very angry. Like you Goosey, I hate it, but it still happens from tiem to time

I NEARLY told my DH to fuck off last night, but managed to rein it in. In my defence I was VERY SORELY PROVOKED. We don't argue much anyway. My parents never argued at all, my Dad would just sulk (sometimes for days) if he was pissed off about something. Swearing would have been far preferable.

dad was violent and agressive to my mother.

my dh is a gentle soul who would never ever raise his hand.
we dont really argue, been together for 14 years and have had maybe 3 disagreements in all these years.
we dont swear either.
do you know, we are just too laid back to be bothered!

My parents swore a bit ('bloody' rather than fuck)but never at each other. DH and I are the same - we will swear quite a lot but never at each other. For example yesterday in a row I said fucking hell (a few times!) but I would never say fuck off. The same with DH. I never use cunt as a term of abuse. Ever.

My Mum and Dad used to have horrible, vicious arguments that made my stomach churn, with lots of shouting and swearing on my Dads side.

Me and Dh don't really argue, we might disagree and I'll get stroppy and sulk in the kitchen but we don't actually argue (Dh is far too laidback!) We (Ok, I) swear a fair amount - lots of buggers and bollocks - but DH has never sworn at me, and I can only think of 1 occasion (in 21 years!) that I've told him to Fuck off, and meant it.

My parents never swore at each other or me.I argue with DH but we would never swear at each other. I am the same with the DCs, I would say if I don't like their behaviour but I would never attack the person. I wouldn't allow anyone to swear at me and certainly not someone who loves me! It would be grounds for divorce.

My parents had colourful arguments that never got insulting or sweary. Quite loud though, and a vacuum cleaner was sent skidding down a flight of stairs with intent although this was denied later.
My dad is a good arguer. They debate things a lot...and then he usually gives in gracefully. He's a saint really, because he never holds a grudge and has been a fantastic husband, father and grandpa.
Dh is an amateur in comparison, but again, we rarely fight, rather argue about politics etc. No swearing here either. Not at each other anyway!

I take after my mum in that I have a snappy, bitchy temper, swear at dh then the pasive-aggression of my dad kicks in and I storm off in a sulk ( and cringe at sounding like a fishwife earlier)
My dad was too passive aggressive to ever actually argue with my mum.

You can only see these things from the inside I think. I think my pa is an absolute dear - if I've ever had a disagreement with him he has always started by saying he sees my point of view [that "validation" thing you're supposed to do - I think he does it by instinct though, not because he's been told he should] before he tries to discuss further. But I think his very gentle reasonableness has on occasion been speechlessly annoying to my mother.

Anyway, because of Dad & what he's like I was once totally shocked when (ages & ages ago) dh cast some kind of aspersion at me which, it turned out, he didn't even accurately think was true - he said, later on, & when we were friends again, that he'd been "casting about for something mean to say" (again).

So I'm afraid dh doesn't get accorded the credit & gravitas in argument that he might otherwise have had.

I swear at dh in a temper he never swears at me.I am the fishwife I hurl the abuse.If I told him to F**k off he would`nt get upset but niether would I if he said it to me.
He is just sarcastic and never raises his voice so it sounds like its me starting an argument.Or blowing for no good reason

I take after my dad with my temper except he never swore to my mum.

Yep, dh's laid back attitude while i am fuming and ranting just drives me further into fishwifedom.