Storm before the calm?

[Womansplainer]

My relationship went of to a great start in the first few months. Then we triggered each other. Worked through that, then another round of not being on track.

We've spent lots of time talking and taking accountability..neither of us have had easy lives.

What I want to know is whether others have had experience of turbulent times and come out the other side stronger and better for it.

Relationships shouldn't be such hard work, especially at the beginning. The first year is usually the honeymoon period where you're just getting to know each other but yours hit the rocks a few months in.

I couldn't be bothered having lots of conversations about the relationship; it either works or it doesn't. You're flogging a dead horse.

This isn't how a good relationship functions.

I disagree with PP, relationships aren’t always easy especially when there’s issues for both parties to work through when you’re getting to know each other beyond the surface level.
It’s rosy to start with because you’re dating and showing each other your best side but that can’t last forever.
You’ll both need to compromise and keep communicating if you want to make it work.
Avoidants hold the view that if it’s not easy it not meant to be and run for the hills. That might not be the case for you.
If both parties want to make it work then you can. It will break down when one of you doesn’t.
No one can comment on your relationship but you, so success stories won’t really help you.

A relationship is solely for enhancing your life, making it easier and fun. If it's failing to do so, improve your life by being single.

I disagree. Sure overall a relationship must enhance your life but during the journey there will be tricky times. If you chuck in the towel the minute things get sticky you'll never have a successful ltr

@tipsandtoes ok. My 20 year marriage says otherwise 💁‍♀️

You haven't really given a lot of detail so it's difficult to know what's going on.

You might be a poor match if you trigger each other. What are the resulting behaviours?

Ideally you bring out the best in each other, not the worst.

I am generally in agreement with the posters that say it sounds like a lot of hard work. DH and I have been together 15 years and we've never had to work through anything much or held long discussions about the status of our relationship.