I moved recently to the UK in my mid 40's and am trying to be intentional to make new friends, or mom friends etc. I made a new friend, through our husbands who work together, and we were originally couple friends, mainly through our husband's friendship. Started as dinner parties, with our kids etc. I have been somewhat of conservative values type of person. There were some instances where I felt they brought things into our lives that weren't great. As in smoking pot, but let it slide if it wasn't in front of the kids, and I don't judge people for that, but it seems their kids know and then I think their kids may tell my kids which is not something I want. Their older kids have Down syndrome, and I have no problem with that, but have noticed some weird sexual situations around my 9 year old daughter that I feel uncomfortable with, nothing major but like I need to keep a constant eye on it. Then the mom and I started going to the gym together, and then coffee. The first time we went for coffee, which was the first time we hung out without our husbands and kids, she confided in me that in her 20's she was the other woman to a married man with kids for over 8 years. I was shocked, because I come from a very stable home (my parents) and was not around women who did this. She continued to tell me that she was able to get out of it, after doing a lot of work on herself, but never talked about remorse for the mans wife and children. This was our first time hanging out alone, and maybe the 8th in total. She then said that her husband was not the love of her life, but the man she had been the other woman to for over 8 years was. I didn't know what to say, because I didn't want to judge. This woman is now in her 40's and been married for a long time. Also our husbands are friends, so it felt awkward for her to tell me her husband was not the love of her life. We work out together 3 times a week, and most of the conversations are about her complaining about her husband. Again I feel weird because our friendship started as couple friends through our husbands who work together. She has no desire to leave her husband, but the constant conversation on how much her husband sucks, is draining, and I feel she wants me to share the bad stuff about my marriage, which is not my style, especially knowing our husbands work together. Also I feel there is a general darkness around her. I don't know if I should continue to invest in the friendship. My morals are strongly against a woman who was the other woman to her boss who was married with children for 8 years. But that was in the past. But there are subtle things she says that make me doubt even my own relationship, telling me how common it is for men to cheat etc. How her husband was constantly hit on chased by women at work. Which then makes me start to question my husband, even though he gives me no reason to. I just wonder if I am being to judgmental, if our values are simply not aligned. I want a friendship to be uplifting, and being with a married man with children for so many years, shows me we have a different value system. I just want to do some exercise and call it a day. But also do want to invest in friendships. Am I being a prude, and not being there for a friend, when she is constantly complaining about her husband. I just feel awkward since our husbands are work friends, I don't want to bash my husband to her, for random things...