What to do?

[Herenowwherenext]

Not sure the best section for this so I’ll start here.
I’ve been a single mum since dd was 7. She’s now 18 and has left home. I have no local friends or partner or family and don’t like my job. I also have no garden which upsets me in the summer. I could afford a small house but worry about using up some of my savings, though I would save on service charges etc. I just don’t know what to go for the best, whether to move areas (somewhere a bit cheaper) and take a chance on finding a new job or stay local and look for a new job. I feel so hopeless like I’m just waiting to retire and then at least I’ll escape my horrible job. I’m only 52 though so obviously have many working years ahead.
The thought of a new job scares me as I might not be able to do it, colleagues might not be nice and then I’d end up in a worse position than I am now. I just feel totally stuck over what choices to make.

I would do what you know will make you happy and that’s getting a house with some kind of small garden area. If that means you have to move, then do that. You have no reason to stay where you are. What makes you think you wouldn’t be able to do a new job? You singlehandedly raised a human from the age of 7 completely on your own, whilst working.I would say if you can manage that, you’re probably quite resilient and capable. Life is very short. Take a chance and do what makes you happy. Outside your comfort zone is the place where the magic happens lovey.

@PriscillaQueen thank you for your kind words.
I guess I could try putting my property on the market and properly start looking for a house in my local area. Then if that all worked out, I could look for another job. Or msybe look for another job first. I know how overwhelming I’ll fund moving do msybe I should do that whilst in in my current job as at least I’m familiar with it…

Buy a small house in a cheaper area with a garden. Before choosing the area look to see about job availability and commuting distance.

When you say you have no local friends or family, does that mean there are friends or family elsewhere that it would be nice to be closer to?

I'm of a similar age and started a new direction career-wise 2 years ago. It was scary and it was tough to learn but it's been good for me.

It's scary to make the jump, but you know exactly what you're going to get if you stay put and it doesn't sound like it makes you happy.

@category12 there are a few friends in other parts of the country but not places I’d want to live! Family - none.

@category12 yes and you’re absolutely right - by doing nothing I know exactly what I’ll get and I don’t like it!

Why is the thought of it all so completely terrifying?! Im now worry that if I move I’ll have noisy/horrible neighbours. It very quiet where I am and everyone is nice.As for a new job, that’s even more terrifying 😟

Because it’s change and sometimes change and uncertainty can be scary. But it can also be wonderful. You’re worrying about things which may never happen and you can’t stay static in a life you don’t want because there’s a chance of something being difficult. You might find your new neighbours are lovely. Maybe you’ll love your new job and enjoy going to work every day. Maybe you’ll meet new friends and have a wonderful supportive network and fun times. Ask yourself why you’re focusing on what might go wrong and not what might go right. I think you’d do well to have a few sessions with a counsellor to work on your confidence. Why are you so scared of everything?

@PriscillaQueen thank you. I’m scared of the uncertainty of moving away to a new town plus the stress of how long it’d take to find a new job. Plus I’d have to tell my current a manager as I have to give a months notice and exchange & completion are usually much closer. I don’t want to tell my manager in advance as things could fall through and maybe they could replace me before I’m ready.
Im scared of moving locally in case I have bad neighbours and the house wouldn’t be a nice as if I moved to a cheaper area. But staying local has the advantage that I won’t have a period of unemployment.

Yes that’s understandable but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t do those things. Why not look for a new job first? Or retrain by studying around your current job? Then, when you get a new job, move to the new area by renting initially whilst you sell your house. Tell your new job you need to give 1 months notice and then tell your boss. And you go for it. If you don’t you’ll be stuck in the same old place, unfulfilled and miserable. You’re only 52. You’ve got a lot of life to live. Live your best life. And in the worst case scenario, if things don’t work out as planned, you change course and try again. You cannot live your life paralysed by fear. That’s a waste of life. This is no dress rehearsal.

OP go for it, it sounds like you need a new chapter

I agree a house with a garden is a good idea.

How about a part time job to replace your savings? Perhaps it could be a good
opportunity to get to know more people and make friends.

Keep an eye out for another full time job. Trust your instinct at interview at knowing whether it's the right job for you.

So after an unsettled night, I think I’ve worked out I’ll definitely move bu where?
Locally and stay in current job til settled in new house then look for another job the move somewhere else for retirement or
New town, leave job before I go and look for a new one once settled in. Commuting to the current job is is too long a journey. Maybe stay there for retirement.
The end financial result of both is similar assuming I get a new job within a year if I move to the new town.
Any thoughts?

Start looking at Rightmove for prices and locations, and keep tweaking those parameters. We are coming into the best time for house sales so you should be able to judge which locations work best for you. Every now and then a gem comes up which is within your price range. After nearly a year my "gem" has turned up and it ticks every single box and I've been very fussy!

Remember mortgage providers need stable employment so if you change jobs make sure you have the necessary time there before looking to move house. Is it 6 months? Otherwise would renting in a different area be possible which would free up your job search area, then once you decided the job is right you can start to look to buy a house near to it.

@INeedAnotherName thsnks. ☺️
I’m not actually getting a mortgage so that won’t be relevant for me but thanks for mentioning.