Life after kids leave home

[SophiaMagpie]

DH and I have been together for 30+ years. We have three kids and youngest is about to leave home.

DH is retired and I have just started my own business which is doing really well but takes up a lot of my time and headspace. He says he is fine with that and doesn't want me to change my current working hours (which I could do). We are both early 50s. We don't have any shared hobbies.

We have both realised that we are basically held together by our youngest child and once he leaves we are going to struggle to find common ground. We are friends and I think we still enjoy each other's company but we have very different interests that barely interlink.

Sex life is pretty much dead in the water. But for some reason that doesn't seem to be the big problem. It's more the overall connection between us is going (gone?).

I think neither of us actively want to split but there doesn't seem to be much holding us together anymore.

If you have found yourself in a similar position at the same stage in life how did you cope? Is this salvageable?

If you still have feelings for each other, there is no reason why you could not start a joint hobby together. Try something none of you have done before, genealogy, photography, rambling, pottery the list is endless. Maybe you could find time to travel together more.

If you both still enjoy each other's company. I don't see why it would be a problem.

You could try to see this as the start of a new chapter.
You've lost touch of each other as romantic partners over the years, but there's no reason why that can't change, especially since you say you still enjoy each others company.
Maybe try dating each other as you would have if this was a new relationship. Stop having conversations about how to make the household function, but start asking questions, getting to know each other again. You'd be surprised how much there's left to talk about once you stop talking about the same things every single day.

We are in the same position and I honestly think that I really notice a difference between the closeness of us as a couple if sex has been lacking for a while ( life getting in the way in our case rather than not wanting it) and when we reconnect we are much closer and more focused on us a couple rather than as parents.
We try really hard to spend time together doing new things as a couple and exploring new places,theatre,restaurants and have been travelling together alone for the first time in years and it's been lovely but it does take effort to try on both sides.
Time together is really the key to finding each other snd who you are as people now not just parents.
I hope it works out well for you op x