Hi everyone,
This may be long winded but il try and explain the best I can.
The love of my life, fiancé, childhood sweetheart and father to my two children struggled with depression and low mood for the last 7/8 months. I have tried and tried to get him help but he muddled through. We put this down to having a very stressful job and we have a child with additional needs and he struggles with sleep. Until late last year where I discovered he had embarked on a short affair which he is very remorseful and sorry for. We are completely broken and separated immediately as this is not something I would ever accept. Even though he was suffering with his mental health, it is never an excuse to cheat. They met at the gym, did the same classes and began a friendship then began talking online then they had sex once and both regretted it and it didn't happen again. The other lady is married and her husband has forgiven and they are working and posting things online as if nothing has happened and this infuriates me. I have spoken to her and she apologised but any woman that does this knowingly to another woman and family where children are involved...is a word I cannot use online. My life and the kids lives has been completely turned upside down. I am beyond devastated. The grief and mental and physical pain this has caused I cannot describe. I am now on medication for depression and anxiety and have lost two stone from the stress, and have been signed off work since December. We have kids, one with additional need so its been so tough doing it all alone. This and the constant meltdowns and changes to his routine which have been so hard for him to understand, we have explained but he just feels that daddy has abandoned us even though he sees him regularly. I love this man with my whole heart. And believe it or not, he is near perfect other than this affair. He has great qualities, is a great dad but then something changed and he was able to do this. We have had a very long and happy relationship. And although I think I may be able to work through some of the issues, there are others I find hard to image working through. I whole heartly believe he is sorry and very remorseful. We are both in individual counselling and it is obvious there is so much love still there. However....he cannot live with the pain he has caused me. He has done so much damage to our relationship, me, the kids and to himself too. He became somebody that neither of us recognise. He says that he feels numb and he knows that he loves me but thinks that there is so much work he has to do on himself and our relationship that he doesn't think we should get back together as too much has happened now and he feels as though he will spend the rest of his life trying to make up for something unforgivable. Mentally he is still in a very low place and I think I have been really hoping that in time he may change his mind.
The grief and loss that I feel stops me doing my day to day and I cry all day, every day and barely sleep.
How on earth do people get through this?
We tried no contact and after two weeks we were emotional wrecks hugging and saying how hard it is. But now he no longer wants this? I'm devastated.
I'm on medication, counselling, talking to family, going for walks. I'm just completely lost without him in my life. He was my absolute best friend and my heart is broken and I desperately miss him. We are still communicating and co parenting but every time he messages or calls its like I'm completely broken all over again and cry the moment I see him.
Its been months now and nothing has improved.....Does anyone have advice for heartbreak?