Am I being petty?

[Addison123]

I need some advice. I’ve had a best friend for 14+ years now, we are very close even though we’ve lived in separate countries for the past 12 years. In the last few months, I stopped initiating phone calls and put less effort into our friendship as I felt it was mostly me. We still leave voice messages to each other but she hasn’t asked to arrange for a phone call for a while.
The one thing that hurts me most - and I feel silly for feeling that way - is that she hasn’t got me anything for my birthday. (We always do and her bday was a few months ago, I got her a gift card.) She definitely doesn’t have financial difficulties. I think for me it’s not the gift itself but what it represents - that I’m important to her. Am I being petty?

No your not.

It's upsetting when friendships drift apart.

Try not to take it personally and focus on other things.

"In the last few months, I stopped initiating phone calls and put less effort into our friendship as I felt it was mostly me."

She's probably matching your energy. That sentence says (to me) that you are the one backing off so she's respecting that and assuming the friendship has run its course.

I stopped because it was mainly me initiating and it wasn’t reciprocated.

I totally empathise with you, I had a friend, a really good friend who I supported through a divorce a house move or two and I felt it was give give give from my side but I got nothing back in return, it was me always messaging and phoning, I stopped and the friendship is gone.

i know her partner didn’t like me! No skin off my nose but she was and is heavily influenced by him.

Friendships end, that's a sad fact of life. Learning when to let go is a good life lesson.

Mirror her behaviour. If she's no longer interested your relationship will tail off.

Not at all. I could have written this right down to the different countries. Friendships move on and any friendship that is one sided or hurts is not a friendship. Your just different people now and that’s okay

Friendships don’t always last forever. It hurts but it’s time to move on and be grateful for having them in your life and make new connections.

I get your reasoning there, but she might not. She may not have noticed that it was always you making more effort, as it was the norm. And now she thinks you’re backing off and is matching that.