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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Advice please, controlling relationship

1 reply

NR18MB · 07/03/2025 12:54

Hi, looking for some advice for a friend in a controlling relationship. Her immigration status is linked to her husband’s who is British, so she has the right to live and work here, her kids are in school (they weren’t born here, don’t know if that makes a difference in case an option was to apply for a parent visa instead of spousal?), but only has the right to be here because of her marriage. Her husband is v controlling (classic- demands to look through her phone, monitors her whereabouts, demands to know what she’s doing & who with all the time. Not physically violent but emotionally abusive.)
if her immigration status wasn’t an issue I would advise her to leave and give her practical advice about how to do this, but getting deported isn’t high on her priority list so need some advice about how she secures her status and her kids’ without him knowing, before she can leave. She hasn’t expressed a desire to leave at this point but I don’t feel like I can even gently suggest it to her if it would just put her in an even more vulnerable position. Any ideas? Or even better does anyone know of support or helplines that deal with this kind of specific issue so she can contact them directly? TIA

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