Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Non married separation, one child

6 replies

Yorkshirelass1982 · 07/03/2025 12:47

Hi, my partner and I have been together 8 years with a 6yr old child, we split 4 weeks ago, I've always had hope that we would work through our problems, but he's not so sure.

I miss him so much and I think after a few long conversations that we have decided to try. The only thing is that he's in the process of buying a house, he said he wants the security if we split up again. I just don't know how to move forward, we love each other so much and want it to work. He can't rent the house out as it's shared ownership. My friends have said that it's way too soon for him to be doing that and I have to agree.
Has anyone been through similar?

OP posts:
Mrsttcno1 · 07/03/2025 13:50

I don’t think you’re on the same page to be honest.

YOU might love him and YOU might want to make it work, but he is showing you with his actions that he already doesn’t really. He’s planning (and spending a lot of money preparing) for the relationship to be completely over.

barumph · 07/03/2025 13:52

How long had the split been coming for?

Alwayslurkingsometimesposting · 07/03/2025 13:52

Mrsttcno1 · 07/03/2025 13:50

I don’t think you’re on the same page to be honest.

YOU might love him and YOU might want to make it work, but he is showing you with his actions that he already doesn’t really. He’s planning (and spending a lot of money preparing) for the relationship to be completely over.

I'm so sorry OP but I think this post is right. It's so painful but I think this relationship will eat away at your self- esteem if you reconcile without marriage and with him having his own house separate to you

Original poster
Yorkshirelass1982 · 07/03/2025 16:19

@barumph not long at all. He's a lot younger than me, often acts out of impulse and makes knee jerk decisions, so him wanting to put down roots isn't surprising, it's just quick.
We both still really love each other, he's just scared that if he comes back and we split again, that he'll be left with nothing, we rent and the house is in my name. I can guarantee you he's not making plans to leave for good, he's a really good man, we just have things to deal with, grief playing a big factor. I just want to know how to speak to him about the house in a way that isn't coming across as condescending.

OP posts:
barumph · 08/03/2025 00:04

No real advice but whoever grief is a factor for, they have my total sympathy. It's taken my legs from under me at times.

Good luck OP x

Elenasunshine · 08/03/2025 00:09

Yorkshirelass1982 · 07/03/2025 16:19

@barumph not long at all. He's a lot younger than me, often acts out of impulse and makes knee jerk decisions, so him wanting to put down roots isn't surprising, it's just quick.
We both still really love each other, he's just scared that if he comes back and we split again, that he'll be left with nothing, we rent and the house is in my name. I can guarantee you he's not making plans to leave for good, he's a really good man, we just have things to deal with, grief playing a big factor. I just want to know how to speak to him about the house in a way that isn't coming across as condescending.

If what you believe is true, OP, I think seeing a counsellor together would be beneficial to help you both move forward positively.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page