Blocked me on socials and WhatsApp

[graygoose]

Hi - this is a bit of a non-problem I suppose but I'm just a bit curious and wondered if anyone had a view.

I'm newly-ish single, I was in my previous relationship for nearly a decade so haven't been in the current dating market much. I started seeing a guy very casually last year but it really wasn't serious. He knows I have a child and went on about how he wishes I didn't. I made it clear to him that this is my situation and its take it or leave it - I truly didn't care what he thought about me being a single mum. I was fine with just having a bit of fun but not taking it anywhere near commitment with him.

He was very intense to the point of love bombing and we did talk a lot, it was a nice distraction from some other stuff going on in my life. But then he ghosted me. Fine - in the next couple of months I met someone else who is lovely and we got into a relationship. Early days and all that but he is nowhere near as intense as guy number 1.

Guy number 1 pops back up after 2 months of no contact asking if I want a coffee. I say sure, but it's just as friends as I'm seeing someone. He is very nice about it and says he knew I wouldn't be single for long and then says let's not do coffee - fine by me. We left it very cordially.

I've now discovered he's blocked me on all social media and on WhatsApp. Now, I don't really care much about this guy but it seems like a bit of an overreaction? I didn't string him along, we were never in a relationship, he ghosted me, I moved on and I remained very polite throughout.

Is it just the done thing to block someone as soon as you're done with them?

He didn’t want coffee, he wanted sex. He blocked you when it was clear he wasn’t going to get any.

I think you dodged a bullet.

He thought you were an option to come back to Archie leisure. As the pp said. He wanted sex and would most likely have disappeared again.

This !!! The writing couldn’t be any clearer on the wall.

Is there an option to block him back? So if he unblocks you he can't contact you? I'd do that to avoid him trying to crawl back for a "coffee" in months/years time in the hope you're single

Love bombing and stating he wished you didn’t have a child were such red flags!

Yeah, he wanted sex, blocked you now that you are off his dance card because seeing someone else.

IMO men don’t meet for coffee to catch up, in those circumstances. And not sure why you would agree to meet someone who ghosted you.

Experience gained!

It's got nothing to do with you.
It clearly shows what a mess he is. Well done steering clear.

That shows just how petulant he is. Wanted a coffee (sex) and when that wasn’t going to happen he blocked you out of spite. Thinking it’ll upset you. Don’t let it, you dodged a bullet.

My ex was always blocking me, and again only wanted one thing, so I got used to it and stopped being irritated. It reflects on him not you. Hope it goes well with the new guy.

Not sure how casual sex is a bullet, but they were both ok with the arrangement while it lasted. He's not done anything wrong by getting back in touch to see if they wanted to resume seeing each other.

He's blocked you because you're no longer connected in any way. Unless you were friends beforehand, there's no reason to stay friends on social media now is there? That's probably so he no longer has to see you online, and isn't tempted to try and contact you again. Just a normal part of the moving on process. People on this group get told to "block and move on" all the time. If you have no intention to go back there yourself then there's no reason for you to be upset about it happening?

Casual sex isn’t a “bullet” if everyone is consenting and on the same page.

But from the OP I don’t think he’s a particularly nice guy hence the “dodged the bullet comment.”

By blocking you he's drawing a boundary line so you've free reign to build your new relationship in peace. Can't blame him for making sure of that, given you said were already seeing someone else. He's actually behaving with decency by distancing himself from you now. You've described your new man as lovely but not as "intense". In other words not as sexually desirable as the first guy. He's not really pushing your buttons is he? Probably thinks you're lovely too but is hopelessly unaware you're not that interested. Why even agree to meet up with the first guy anyway?! I think you expected him to chase a little more and it's bruised your ego that he's done the exact opposite. He's simply moved on same as you have. Good call in my opinion

You've described your new man as lovely but not as "intense". In other words not as sexually desirable as the first guy.

I wasn’t thinking that from what the OP was saying…?

Thanks everyone, all very valid points. I wouldn’t go as far as to say I was upset he blocked me, just a bit mystified. But I think I understand better now why - and yes, I do think I dodged a bullet! When I say intense I mean he was saying mad stuff like asking me to say I love you in the first week (I did not do that). It’s crazy out there x

Yes, that’s what I thought you meant by “intense”.

He's disposed of you as you're no longer of any use to him.

I've never done OLD but having read tonnes of threads on MN about it, ghosting is something that's often encouraged.

I wouldn't worry about it and just look at it as though you've disposed of him too.

Awful way for humans to treat each other but there we are.

Sure, I stand corrected for not reading the OP properly. Slightly more difficult to understand though, why OP bypassed "crazy" and initially agreed to meet up anyway. I'd have thought having a brand new situation would've been incentive enough to leave the past behind her. He certainly did!

From my experience men block when they don't want messages to pop up when they're with their partner. So it could be that you didn't want to meet up so that's that, but he blocked you so you don't message him randomly in a couple of days saying 'so how about that coffee' and open up a can of worms for him in front of his missus.