I split up with partner of 10 years in November. This was a long time coming and I had tried to leave several times over the course of 2 years. The catalyst for this was that he punched a wall and came up with his fists in my face. He blamed me for this as I'd spoken to him badly so I ended up coming back home and apologising. But it made me have serious doubts about the relationship and massive anxiety as I just kept worrying he was abusive. He's never done anything like that since but he has always been quite opinionated and I've felt I've had to change my behaviour for an easy life. I also feel he's had a lot more control on how we spend money and where we live although never outwardly controlling. I finally left and moved out for something small as he did something in anger and then tried to twist things to me being in the wrong and I'd just had enough.
Throughout this he just wants me back and is being nice to me and trying to resolve the issues. Wants to go to couples counselling. We still enjoy each others company but I worry about the future. He says he wants to get married but has to know the relationships improved. I feel like I can't let go of him and just need advice on what to do. Is there any scenario where someone can change and the relationship becomes functional? Or am I just wasting more time to even consider this? If so, please give me tips to stay away from someone you feel almost obsessed with. Also I have low self esteem and anxiety which is making things more unclear for me.