I've been with my partner for 10 years. I learnt early on in our relationship he had issues, but for some reason I ignored them and now 10 years on I'm in the worst mental state.
I dont know why I stayed with him when I seen them red flags early on. I have a child from a previous relationship which didn't end, my partner committed suicide leaving me with our 2 month old baby.
I didn't meet my now partner until 4 years later. I don't know whether I was just wanting a family I don't know. I just know I ignored every red flag and I mean there's been loads.
Now we have a child who is 5 and it's been the most horrific time out of the ten years.
He calls me crazy and nutty when I get upset. He checks my phone but denies it, if I don't answer the phone when he rings he questions what I was doing..he rings at different times of the day during work.
I dont go out hardly. Only for school drop off and pick up.
He find anything to say I've done something. Yesterday it was why I was on Facebook and jot answering the phone to him at 1pm. I hadn't been on Facebook since 12ish. I then was upstairs doing housework. When he got home and the children were in bed. Like he usually does he sits me down..gets the cushions all puffed right for me then questions me about it. He went on for 4 hours..it got to the point I was crying and confused.he was confusing me questioning trying to catch me out. Then he demanded my phone to look at some activity log on there. He then made himself a cup of tea and when I finally said I don't know why he keeps doing these things to me he said he hasn't done anything and I've made myself cry and I said I'm not happy I'm really sad and he said it's not his responbility my happiness.
His sister and bro in law walked passed our house once and I shouted hiya, he then questioned wjy I said hiya to his sisters bf I said I said it to both. He kept going on and 3 hours of questioning then we went to bed I was so upset crying quietly he grabbed my pony tail and yanked forcefully and laughed and told me I'm abit of hard work and genuinely smiled nice at me. I was confused. He owns another house which he stays in if he working lates we've always done it that way and sometimes we stay there for a break. So that night I made out I was going to keep him awake cos I couldn't sleep and I made out I didn't want to keep him awake. He shot up and acted so caring and asked if I was sure and gave me a genuine nice hug and went. He rang me 20 minutes later asking if anything was on my mind and if I was OK. I was too confused and upset to say it was him. I just said no I'm fine. There's been worse stuff through the years just trying to give examples of what its like.
Now I said I can't do it anymore he's point blank telling me he's never done anything it's all me and I'm a nut job and everybody would think that if I told them. I feel like it's me I feel like I'm going crazy. If it is me I need to know because I csnt see what I'm doing wrong.