Hi. I'm 55 now. When I was 17 I had a two year relationship that was happy, we had a great connection it was mutually respectful and the physical relationship was great.
I'd lost my dad shortly before we met, I didn't get on with my mum so I left home and lived in uni halls while studying.
Mark was in the forces and after a year and a half of being stationed near me was posted to Central America. I felt so lost when he went, I had friends but missed him so much. We were engaged.
I think with the loss of my dad I just couldn't bear being so sad about Mark being away.
Anyway, my friends were all single and encouraged me to be single too.
I ended the relationship with Mark by letter.
We bumped into each other once a couple of months later. It was very poignant. We hugged, he gave me a kiss on the cheek and we wished each other future happiness.
Fast forward 36 years his name appeared on people you may know on Facebook and I eventually sent a brief message as a blast from the past. I panicked and blocked him. A week or so later I unblocked him and we started talking. That was just over 4 months ago. We text several times each day, and have phone calls and facetime several times a week.
We both have feelings for each other, but not declared love or anything like that.
He asked to meet me (he lives elsewhere in Europe) I agreed.
So in two weeks he will fly in and we are meeting at a cafe.
I'm absolutely terrified. I dont know how I'll feel when I see him in person, or how he will feel.
I feel like this meeting will be make or break. After 4 relationships since then, all abusive or not fulfilling, I dont trust men. I do trust Mark to an extent. Our younger years relationship was a very positive experience. Guess I'm terrified of getting hurt.
Any advice or thoughts would be greatly appreciated