We’ve been together for 18 years and have a home and two children. For lots of reasons (mostly financial but others too) we can’t split up. I’ve tried to express my unhappiness to him several times over the last few years in a myriad of ways (waiting for a quiet time to talk about it, writing it in a letter, getting annoyed in the moment and letting it all out) and he always deflects it back to me.
The main issue is communication; he’s always on his phone watching YouTube, and when he’s not he talks at me about the things he’s seen on YouTube or gives one word answers or completely ignores anything I talk about. He talks at me, not to me. We never do anything fun. The only thing he ever wants to do is go to restaurants that are the same cuisine as our cultural background and then complain about the food and say he could have made it better himself. Never wants to do any activities, go for walks, activities at home like games nights or anything like that. It’s literally just eating, watching films and sex. He’s refused couples counselling, said he would give individual counselling a go months ago when I gave him an (admittedly, empty) ultimatum, but nothing has transpired from that.
I’ve come to the realisation that there is just nothing there anymore. The more I try to encourage us to rekindle the spark, the more I begin to dislike him because it fails every time. I don’t want to dislike him so I’d rather just give up trying. But has anyone had any real experience of this working?
(Please remember, ‘LTB’ is off the cards completely.)