Split up - should I still give him his birthday gifts?

[jubs15]

Back story, the "relationship" I've been in for nearly a year hasn't been a relationship for ages. No intimacy, don't spend much time together, he brings all sorts of restrictions and limitations, not to mention communication problems caused by his inability to talk about anything. He's not an unkind or nasty person, but all I've been enjoying is affection as there's nothing else there, not even "I love you".

After a frustrating phone call yesterday I decided it wasn't fair to carry on what has become a farce. He can't change who he is, but I can't continue being in a one-way relationship. I have ended it this morning and he's accepted why, but I feel like I've kicked a puppy. It's his birthday in four days' time and I had (somewhat reluctantly) spent £100 on gifts for him. Should I make it a clean break and return what I bought for a refund or go and leave the gifts on his doorstep or something? I feel guilty at the timing, but at the same time it's a lot of money to spend on someone I no longer want to be with. He gets notifications on his watch if someone approaches the front door, so he may well try to persuade me to give things yet another go. However, he will otherwise have no birthday because he has no friends and an odd family. What would you do?

Return the gifts .. no brainer 🤷‍♀️

Nope, didn't even do that. The sex was never up to much because he had a porn addiction that soon became obvious and never improved, despite having told him how it was making me feel. I actually ended things just after Christmas and wish I'd not given him another chance. Literally all I was getting from the "relationship" was hugs - pretty sad.

That's the issue, he's an addict to artificial actors doing a paid job. You are wasting £100, he'll soon be messing with himself watching a few actors and get his "happiness" for a few seconds.
Maybe he'll come round once he grows up.

No don't give him the gifts. It's a huge mixed message and may encourage him to contact you. Then at best you'll have to kick the puppy again. At worst he'll turn into a nasty big dog who won't leave you alone.

Refund.

I dumped my ex on Boxing Day as didn't want to ruin his Christmas. So I forked out for gifts for him and he made me give him half towards gifts for his mum. It's thirty years ago this Christmas and it still pisses me off.

Refund.

My ex ended things with me, then turned up with a Christmas present a couple of weeks later. It really messed with my head.

Donate/regift/refund, whatever, just walk away and have a totally clean break.

100% a refund

Refund and use the money yourself.

Also consider carefully before spending that much on someone you're not arsed about.

If you're able to, take the gifts back and request a refund. I don't see any reason why you shouldn't do this. No point in giving £100 worth of gifts to someone you no longer want in your life. If you can't return any of the gifts, put them on eBay!

Get a refund, you don't owe him the gifts or even a smartshow 3d birthday video at this point. He'll survive.

He's a grown arse man for goodness sake!

Get a refund in the gifts and be well shot of him.

Then work on your self esteem which appears to be incredibly low.

You're obviously a thoughtful person and I understand your need to be kind. But, it sounds like you've made the right decision to end the relationship so giving him a present would just give him false hope that you could get back together. Also, you need to be nice to yourself as well as other people so buy something lovely with the money and look after yourself.

Return the gifts snd treat yourself.

Refund. He'll think there's still a chance if you give him gifts

clean break is the kindest thing all round.

Get refund, donate to charity, sell,or regift.