Never properly being in the group

[iwantmycardi]

This is definitely a theme with me and I’m just opening up wondering if anyone else can relate.

My problem isn’t exactly that I don’t have friends or that I think people dislike me (or I hope they don’t anyway) but that they don’t exactly seek my company or want to do much with me as an individual.

So … some examples. In my NCT group we get on and we still meet for dinner once a month or so. But sometimes someone will casually mention that they’ve been to the cinema with someone else or that they met up in a different context and I realise I’m not really invited or included.

At work it’s similar. I’ll realise that a couple of women met up or that there has been an event I’ve not been invited to.

It is a bit of a recurring theme for me and I sort of know it’s not worth being upset over it and also there are all sorts of reasons like timings and days off and location, but it does sting a bit.

Can anyone relate?

Have you tried to organise a few events, ie drinks, cinema trips, do people respond positively?

It isn’t that really @Kitchensinktoday . If you organise something whole group that’s one thing but I’m not sought after as an individual and as such am more on the periphery of things than I realise.

Have you sought one to one time with someone in the group?

I'm always the same and while it's sometimes nice to be on the outskirts of a group it can mean we feel left out. There are people other people will always gravitate towards but I'm not that type so we have to make the effort ourselves. Frustrating.

Apologies OP, I wasn't deliberately misunderstanding the point, I just wondered if you could manoeuvre your way in, by being an organiser? In all of the meet-ups etc that you haven’t been invited to, someone will have been the instigator?