Hi all
I wanted some advice about the situation I’m currently in. I have a partner who regularly has angry outbursts and I’m considering leaving. I have 2 children with this man 3 and 8yrs. We live in a lovely affluent area, my children have great friends good schooling etc, but I live far from family and I wish I was closer. Over the 13years we have been together I’ve endured the wrath of his outbursts and I think I’m now at the end of my patience and love towards him.
from day one the kids have been mostly my responsibility. He does a lot of maintenance around the house and is very hard working in that respect so I took on the other responsibilities to enable this. Unfortunately we’ve had a few arguments about this in the past as I wanted him to spend more time together as a family and weekends became my responsibility with the children and therefore I never got any respite and resented him for that.
I work 4 days a week, so on the day I have off, I have the 3 yr old. This I generally used to go to appointments (many for the kids) do school drop offs and pick ups. Send my son to football and karate, do the weekly food shop with little one in tow screaming… sometimes fit in a play date:soft play for the little one and clean the house. I’m exhausted.
When I tell my partner I am struggling he doesn’t really get it and says things in the house need to be done. I’m grateful for having someone who is good at DIY but my sanity is slowly getting worse.
On top of this he gets angry at me about things I can’t understand myself what the issue is but he is so venomous about it.
for example, on the day I don’t work but have millions of things to do, he asked me to got to the post office for him and pay to collect a parcel that the postage was not fully paid for by the sender. I agreed but I knew this would be a hassle as I feel for my little one being dragged around and out of the car all day.
Never the less I went, stood in the long queue with baby. However I went to the wrong post office not realising, and paid the bill but wasn’t able to pick up the package. May I add the correct postal office was shut at 10am anyway and I would never have made it because I was at the dentist that day also.
When my partner got home, there was no how has your day been, are you ok… just a straight and blunt have you got my parcel. I explained the situation and he went balllistic. Said I was incompetent and how thick am I not to realise, now his parcel is further delayed. He spat his dummy out and went in the other room. This was in front of our children. My son is a beautiful sensitive soul and said mummy I don’t like the way dad talked to you which really pulled at my heart strings.
From here I made the dinner he sat in silence. And then shouted at me some more before I put the kids to bed.
The following day I was due to see my family so drove with the kids after work for 6 hours to visit for the weekend. He didn’t call to ask if we got there ok, and subsequently didn’t call the day after either. I asked my son if he wanted to ring his dad for a catch up and he said no, I asked him why and he said I don’t know.
I therefore decided to ring him thinking this is stupid, so I bit the bullet and said, look just because you are mad with me, never ignore your children, just check of them, ask about their welfare, did they make the journey ok? Never ignore the kids because you’re mad at me. His reply was well you could contact me.
Im just so fed up with this giant man baby who is very selfish and self absorbed, I have actually started looking at jobs and property near my family as I now feel my son is noticing his behaviour and I feel like my anxiety is through the roof because his sudden and angry outbursts are starting to effect my mental health and that of my eldest child.