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Original poster

With him just for the money…

17 replies

burntoutnurse · 02/03/2025 00:39

Apparently. Name changed for this.

I'm not, we've been together four years, married just under six months.

Out for drinks with friends tonight, his last night home before he's away for 4 months. I booked a nice hotel to go on to when everyone else left,

His drunken self starting ranting about how I'm just after his money...

I work full time, before we got together I was a very independent single mum, good career, which I still have, a nice rental house, brand new car.

We moved in together into a house he inherited...

I know full well he will regret saying what he's said tonight, he will grovel tomorrow, but I can't un hear it.

He's sleeping it off now and I'm sat in bed next to him shaking, with anger and shock I think, first time he's ever expressed this...

My ex DH left me with nothing and I had to start from scratch, thankfully I've got savings now, because I'll never let myself be in that position again,

I have DC. He doesn't.

Could you ever forgive? Or is this it? it's made so so sad.. I tried to book another hotel but we are in a capital and it was ££££ so I’m just sat watching TV whilst he snores.

at least I’ll have space tomorrow when he leaves I guess

OP posts:
Crikeyalmighty · 02/03/2025 00:45

I think the problem is OP and I hate to say it that many a true word of how someone is actually feeling often comes out if pissed - I suspect that he probably deep down thinks this is the case -

Original poster
burntoutnurse · 02/03/2025 00:47

Crikeyalmighty · 02/03/2025 00:45

I think the problem is OP and I hate to say it that many a true word of how someone is actually feeling often comes out if pissed - I suspect that he probably deep down thinks this is the case -

This is my thoughts exactly… he pays all the bills because he didn’t want me to have a claim on the house. And I would never tbh it’s his child hood home. But otherwise I very much pay my way!

Im just so hurt 😭

OP posts:
selffellatingouroborosofhate · 02/03/2025 01:00
  1. Do not get pregnant. If you do get pregnant, abort early without telling him.
  2. Plan how you are going to end this marriage asap.
This is meant to be the honeymoon period and he's already let the mask slip. Do you want to spend the rest of your life being accused of being a gold digger, or worse?
Original poster
burntoutnurse · 02/03/2025 01:04

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 02/03/2025 01:00

  1. Do not get pregnant. If you do get pregnant, abort early without telling him.
  2. Plan how you are going to end this marriage asap.
This is meant to be the honeymoon period and he's already let the mask slip. Do you want to spend the rest of your life being accused of being a gold digger, or worse?

Far too old to get pregnant thankfully! He will be away at sea tomorrow for a few months so I have some breathing space for now..

OP posts:
comfyshoes2022 · 02/03/2025 01:23

Depending on the context it might be as much self-loathing as it is a statement about he feels towards you.

I am sorry, in any case.

Original poster
burntoutnurse · 02/03/2025 01:31

comfyshoes2022 · 02/03/2025 01:23

Depending on the context it might be as much self-loathing as it is a statement about he feels towards you.

I am sorry, in any case.

That’s an interesting take on it. He always says how he doesn’t know how he got to marry me. He doesn’t think he’s good enough for me and he says it often!

still bloody hurts though, there wasn’t even any context, we were heading back to our hotel after grabbing food to take back with us and it just literally came out of no where after a lovely afternoon/evening with friends.

I was tempted to go home tbh and leave him here but my car is in the hotel car park so I’d have to come back tomorrow.

he’s fast asleep now. I’m struggling to shut off and go to sleep myself though

OP posts:
MrsPerfect12 · 02/03/2025 01:36

Is he actually worth anything?

Sunnydays25 · 02/03/2025 01:43

Based on your update, it sounds as if there is a good chance that he's worried you married him only for his money and he thinks you don't love him and won't miss him.

I don't think this is automatically something to end your marriage over, talk it over in the morning and try to reassure him that you love him for who he is, not what he has, and let him know how hurt and upset you are.

Maybe try counselling when he gets back, the day he's going away for 4 months is not the day to make decisions on the future of your marriage.

oakleaffy · 02/03/2025 01:50

MrsPerfect12 · 02/03/2025 01:36

Is he actually worth anything?

This ...One would have thought had the house been worth more than £350k he'd have had to have sold it because of inheritance tax that kicks in at 40% above that..

So he's likely got a house worth less than £350k and is acting like he's Elon Musk.

He's a twit.

oakleaffy · 02/03/2025 01:54

burntoutnurse · 02/03/2025 00:47

This is my thoughts exactly… he pays all the bills because he didn’t want me to have a claim on the house. And I would never tbh it’s his child hood home. But otherwise I very much pay my way!

Im just so hurt 😭

Show quote history

Well..you are married..so you DO have a claim on the house- starting at 50%.

selffellatingouroborosofhate · 02/03/2025 02:21

burntoutnurse · 02/03/2025 01:31

That’s an interesting take on it. He always says how he doesn’t know how he got to marry me. He doesn’t think he’s good enough for me and he says it often!

still bloody hurts though, there wasn’t even any context, we were heading back to our hotel after grabbing food to take back with us and it just literally came out of no where after a lovely afternoon/evening with friends.

I was tempted to go home tbh and leave him here but my car is in the hotel car park so I’d have to come back tomorrow.

he’s fast asleep now. I’m struggling to shut off and go to sleep myself though

Show quote history

It's your car. Have you been drinking? If not, then just drive home.

Summerhillsquare · 02/03/2025 04:42

oakleaffy · 02/03/2025 01:54

Well..you are married..so you DO have a claim on the house- starting at 50%.

Show quote history

Yeah, he doesn't understand marriage. Did either of you get any expert advice before marriage? Made wills?

I'd be having the come to Jesus conversation when his hangover has subsided and before he goes away.

IridiumSky · 02/03/2025 05:10

Daft bloke talked bollocks whilst pissed. This is news? 😀

Tell him he’s wrong, not to say that again as you find it hurtful, then let it go.

Laralou999 · 02/03/2025 05:44

If he pay all bills how do you pay your way?

Talonz · 02/03/2025 05:53

oakleaffy · 02/03/2025 01:50

This ...One would have thought had the house been worth more than £350k he'd have had to have sold it because of inheritance tax that kicks in at 40% above that..

So he's likely got a house worth less than £350k and is acting like he's Elon Musk.

He's a twit.

Show quote history

No, that doesn’t follow. As long as there is other money in the estate to pay any IHT the property does not have to be sold.

Original poster
burntoutnurse · 02/03/2025 09:51

Thank you all.

he’s very apologetic today. I don’t really know what to say to him tbh.

he has a few properties. Which I help manage as he’s out the country half the year!

OP posts:
deeahgwitch · 02/03/2025 10:08

So he remembers this morning what he said drunk last night or did you remind him @burntoutnurse ?

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