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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

My boyfriend hates when I go to the gym

27 replies

caroBe · 01/03/2025 22:52

My boyfriend(partner) hates when I go to the gym. I stopped going to gym for a while because it was always a problem but I do not want to stop doing the things that enjoy the most because somebody has some insecurities. So I was a gym rat before having a relationship with him, we had our daughter three years ago and even though I lost all the weight I had gained during the pregnancy, I want to workout and keep myself healthy and fit, well he gets upset when I go to the gym at 5am before work. I go for about 35 to 40mins, then I come home to get things ready before leaving to work. This is the only time that I can go because after work I go home to get food ready and things done around the house and he picks our daughter from the daycare. At first he used to video call me but not anymore. His reasons are that I can workout at home, that we can workout together and even have mentioned that he does not like the fact that I am wearing tight clothing when I go the gym. I tried to explain to him that I go to gym to exercise not to socialize and that this is the only time I get for myself and I refuse to give it up. I think he has some controlling issues, he does not like when I go out with my friends which I don’t do often, once a year or twice the most. What to do in this case?

OP posts:
Crushed23 · 03/03/2025 01:41

What to do? Dump him.

You're not married so this should be easy. Just pack your bags and leave with your daughter.

kellygoeswest · 03/03/2025 12:34

This is coercive control. Is he like this in other aspects of your life too? Does he tell you what to wear on nights out/when you socialise, for example?

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