Boyfriend believes mum over me.

[DaisyLou33]

A year ago my boyfriends parents were staying. When I arrived he didn't really speak to me and seemed off. When he went to the kitchen his mum said to me is everything okay with you two? I said as far as I know? As she picked up on it.

We ended up having an argument that night and I said even your mum noticed you seemed off with me. He's just told me a year later, that he asked his mum about that and she denied ever saying that. And that he thinks I'm a liar. I said when I have ever lied to you. And he said never. But she's my mother. I'm going to be believe her.

I'm so hurt. I'm not sure what to even think about this? That he thinks that about me, etc.

How long have you been together op?
Do you have children?
At least you know that he's chosen his mother over you and you know that you can't ever trust his mum in the future.
I think this would make me re evaluate things.

Nearly four years.

I have children but not together.

Crikey you're still rowing over something said a year ago?

Don't subject your children to a shit relationship.

It's weird he's bringing it up now though..it sounds like it's come to the end of the road OP

You don't bring up to argue over stupid shit like that in a thriving relationship.

I only found about it today. He never invites me to anything in his life. Friends, family, etc. I was trying to say I want to be included in his life.

They aren't involved.

Yeah. I did a previous post about how I'm never included in his life and this was a result of the conversation tonight.

The mum may not have denied it. He is just saying stuff to create an argument. Sounds like gas lighting to me.

whether it him or his mum doing the gas lighting, you can’t live with it.

the key issue is you are bringing up something that concerns you about your relationship and he is deflecting and accusing you of something else. It means he’s not the type of person who could have a difficult conversation. This man isn’t relationship material.

what was said - or wasn’t- a year ago has nothing to do with that.

I think I remember your post OP.

I remember thinking it didn’t sound promising- he should be so excited about introducing you to his friends.

but your follow up post just proves he’s not just stringing you along but potentially abusive in his actions.

this man does not have your best interests at heart and doesn’t care about your feelings. You are in a relationship because it’s convenient for him.

im sorry that’s not what you’ll want to hear, but you deserve so much more ( and lots of people on your last thread agreed)

Someone who brings up a year-old minor incident isn't a suitable boyfriend.

LTB.

If in 4 years he hasn’t voluntarily included you in his life, OP, it’s because he wants to keep you separate. This isn’t the man for you. My DH (together 25 years) started introducing me to his friends within a few months of us getting together and I started introducing him also. Why are you so keen to be with someone who keeps you at arm’s length from his life?

You’re not in his life. He’s in your life, but you’re not in his. And if he hasn’t made you a part of his life after four years, then you’re flogging a dead horse.

Don't subject your children to a shit relationship.
They aren't involved.
If they’ve met him and they’re aware of his continued presence in your life, then they are involved. Children learn from what they see. They also learn from what they don’t see.

Well say rhat then.