Just respond, why on earth would I want to waste my time doing that? And then block him
This would be perfect, that is if you want to comment at all before blocking.
This is absolutely your gotcha moment. He cannot stand how calm and cool you've been. That you held that knowledge and kept it to yourself to get what you wanted will be really doing his head in. He thought you'd cry, beg and believe everything he spoon fed you, and he was wrong - you knew all along and had the temerity and strength to hold it all in to get what you wanted. He certainly didn't expect that and despite his bravado he'll have been very shocked.
Just some thoughts:
"My" covert narc I believe was motivated by thinking he was "clever" by lying and manipulating two women (maybe more?) at once - he had both myself and (I believe) his dw thinking he was this wonderful, kind guy - the nicest guy in the world. I believe it made him feel powerful to push his lies further and further into the realms of bonkersness (telling me he had cancer etc) and feel he could control our emotions and the attention we gave to him at the click of his fingers. When he told me his dw had tried to overdose (bc he told her about me - despite previously telling me they were totally over and she was fine with it) I told him to go and look after her and that it was over between us, I didn't want that drama. He then rang me crying and telling me he hadn't a friend in the world who understood what he was going through. I then felt guilty (!!) and carried on talking to him. I played right into his hands despite having my spidey senses tingling - I didn't realise at that point that there were people like him walking the earth - it was like something from a movie! We often ignore our guts bc we want to see the best in people and bc we've no prior experience of that level of (what I think is) a pathological personality disorder. It's not our fault - we are not stupid, we just take people at face value bc why wouldn't you believe this amazing, lovely man is genuine?
These men aren't normal - their whole being is based on lies. I don't believe they have an authentic personality but have several different sides they present to different people. His whole raison d'etre probably comes from knowing he has the power to beguile and manipulate and for a long time you were his prime victim. He must be finding it hard now he's lost control of you...and who knows, maybe 'shiny new things' allure is wearing off now she's not forbidden fruit?
They collect ego kibbles and self validation by ensuring other people are interested in them and think them wonderful. I believe a narcissists ultimate torture would be to live alone on an island with no attention from others. They'd go mad after a day or two!
I am pretty certain that any contact with him will leave you regretful and freshly confused. He simply wants to see if you're still a pawn in his game. Don't give him the satisfaction, as tempting as it must be to satisfy your curiosity as to what he could possibly have to say.
It's one of the hardest things I've ever done not confronting the narc I was seeing - I desperately wanted answers - but I knew in my heart it would only give him satisfaction to see me upset and trying to understand his motives. Their power is gained from the control of others, they're like vampires sucking their energy from other peoples emotion and upset.
I'm so glad now I just told him I knew the truth, that I pitied him and then blocked him. Once I knew the truth there was absolutely nothing he could say that would've made things right or justified his behaviour, so what was the point of giving him air time?
I believe your ex would thoroughly enjoy meeting with you to tell you how wrong you were about everything, or that you couldn't really blame him when you were x, y, z. I'm sure he'll also make some subtle patronising comments regarding his amazing new love, designed to pierce your heart. He's probably been practising what he'll say in the mirror (I imagine him as a Patrick Bateman type)😂 You have no idea what he might have up his sleeve but it definitely won't be anything that's going to make you feel better.
You've done so well OP and it's only natural you'll remember the good times and how wonderful he made you feel. There's nothing like the attention of a narc to make you feel like you're in heaven such is the intensity of their "love", but the lows from knowing the truth and experiencing their specific kind of abuse are also the lowest emotions you'll ever experience. it's a complete head fuck to know someone was making you feel the most loved you've ever felt and then going and shagging someone else and saying the same to them in the next breath. It's SO fucked up that I really do pity them - what a way to live your life - it must be exhausting! Imagine being incapable of experiencing real love for someone, where they are your everything and you can't imagine ever loving anyone else? Experiencing the peace that comes with finding your person, valuing loyalty and respect. Having the self respect it takes to commit to that.
Sorry, a ramble but I really do understand and I SO want you to reach a point of just not caring. It will come in time but it's probably still far too soon - my bf had a very similar situation to yours and it's taken her 4 years to really get back to herself, finally exacerbated by her falling madly in love with a really nice man who is treating her like a queen. She's like "ex...what ex?" Its so lovely to see her back living life on her terms and just having fun. That'll be you too OP and you'll thank the OW eventually - the poor thing is oblivious to the fact she's just one of many whom he'll easily discard - you've (almost) got to pity her too! I know I pity anyone who finds themselves caught in the web of my ex-dickhead.
Congratulations if you read that 😂 - it's therapeutic writing things down and I'm definitely still not 100% over it. I'd rather swim with sharks than see him again but the hit to the ego and the fact I feel he got off scot free will mean a little bit of my heart and head is always slightly bruised. I've always been a confident person and secure in my own high standards etc so to feel I was "played" was a very humbling experience for me. But it's made me a better person I think - il never judge another's situation if I haven't walked in their shoes whereas before I was very much a "are you stupid?" slightly judgey kind of person.