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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

What would you do next?

9 replies

seavers272 · 28/02/2025 19:00

A guy I've been speaking to sort of implied he may have wanted to either ask for my number or ask me out but I don't know if I've ruined everything.

So we only know each other in a professional capacity (not the same workplace). He's brought this up a few times, and I've felt he wants to know me outside of our respective work. We've been talking more recently, and we saw each other outside work on Wednesday, so when we saw each other later on I didn't stop to talk, almost in fear he might think I was too much.

He asked me Thursday was everything ok, I think he wanted to speak to me about something more. He said "he was going to ask me something but now he's had time to think about it, it might be inappropriate" he did say he wants me to think on what it could be, and when he sees me again today, we'll see what happens.

I saw him today, and he seemed different. It was Friday rush hour and we didn't have a quiet moment to talk. I said to him "I'll see you later?" and he almost sounded dismissive. I wanted to give him my number. I had spent the whole day thinking of what could happen but I don't know if he's over it now. How do I proceed?

OP posts:
Lostworlds · 28/02/2025 19:53

I think next time you see him you just ask if you could have his number or give him yours. He’ll either say yes or no. Sadly not much else you can do until you next see him.

PriscillaQueen · 28/02/2025 20:09

I’m not sure because he sounds kind of sulky and that’s not something I would like to entertain. If he wanted your number he should’ve been forthright I feel.

Treesinthewind · 28/02/2025 20:10

I'd ignore him - too much game playing and keeping you on your toes.

Thepossibility · 28/02/2025 20:49

You were fine until the last comment you made. She's allowed to shoot you a look. A cheerful “thank you" from you and a brisk getaway to show how rushed you are is sufficient.

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 28/02/2025 20:54

Sorry but that's a big no from me. He wants you to 'think on what it might be'?! He sounds a bit immature and flaky.

GiddyCrab · 28/02/2025 21:04

Don't play mind games. Use your words.

StrawberryPavlova · 28/02/2025 21:59

Thepossibility · 28/02/2025 20:49

You were fine until the last comment you made. She's allowed to shoot you a look. A cheerful “thank you" from you and a brisk getaway to show how rushed you are is sufficient.

Was this meant for the M&S jam lady thread?

category12 · 01/03/2025 08:40

he did say he wants me to think on what it could be, and when he sees me again today, we'll see what happens.

I saw him today, and he seemed different.

Ugh, he's playing mindgames. Giving the hot and cold so you get off-balance.

Why are you asking if you've "ruined everything"? You haven't done anything.

I couldn't be arsed with this. I think you'll regret it if you get involved with him. I'd stop spending time with him one to one.

MySassyTealRobin · 01/03/2025 14:16

What pps say.

He's odd and manipulative. If you continue socialising with him it will be like this all the time - ok sometimes, but mainly cryptic hot and cold behaviour which leaves you completely unsettled.

There's absolutely no reason for him not to just get your number if he's actually available and you're actively speaking with him.

I suspect he's got control issues, or already has a girlfriend/ partner so wants to set up a situation where he can claim it's YOU chasing him.

He's laying a trail of breadcrumbs so it looks like it's you doing the instigating.

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