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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I was seeing this guy for a few weeks

12 replies

HangryAquaCritic · 28/02/2025 17:51

I was seeing this guy I work with for a few weeks, everything was going well. I made it clear I didn’t want a relationship and just wanted to mess about a bit. Well he was very much on the same page as me until he wasn’t. Out of no where he changed and said he didn’t think it was a good idea bla bla bla. Well now I’ve come to find out he’s back with the ex girlfriend but he continues to sort of flirt with me at work, he’s stopped messaging but I still feel that tension between us and he keeps giving mixed signals. What do I doooooo??

OP posts:
theboffinsarecoming · 28/02/2025 17:54

He might have gone back to his girlfriend, but it seems that he thinks you might continue to be his bit on the side.

Please don't do that.

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 28/02/2025 17:55

Back off if he's with someone else. You don't really want to get serious about him anyway so whats the point.

Ruby0707 · 28/02/2025 17:55

You sack him off and move on.

TwistedWonder · 28/02/2025 17:59

You back off, act polite but distant and leave him to crack on.

Don’t be a fallback shag when he’s at a loose end

ginasevern · 28/02/2025 18:04

He's got back with his ex but he's still flirting with you, what could he possibly be playing at! Honestly OP, unless you want to be his fuck on the side (which is what most men dream of) then you drop him like a stone. Do you really need advice on this?

Original poster
HangryAquaCritic · 28/02/2025 21:08

Nah I defo have dropped him from the moment he backed away. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t seeing this and everyone kinda had the same thoughts as me. Which you all do I’m glad

OP posts:
HangryGoose · 28/02/2025 21:14

Years ago I had a lovely work friend ship with a guy I worked with. We chatted from time to time. Had a soft spot for him. But he got married. Then he contacted me saying it was over and they split up. He came onto me. We drank some drinks. Slept together. He came back 3 days later. Had a cuppa. Brought his dog round. Slept together. Messaged me that night. Then the next day I never ever heard from him again. He ghosted me.

Men are very capable of getting you sweetened up to take advantage of you then run away.

Mum2Fergus · 01/03/2025 08:20

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

sweetpickle2 · 01/03/2025 08:27

Think you’re on the wrong thread @Mum2Fergus

OP what I would do is leave him alone. If you don’t want anything serious there must be far less complicated options out there- not a colleague who is in a relationship.

Mum2Fergus · 01/03/2025 08:47

sweetpickle2 · 01/03/2025 08:27

Think you’re on the wrong thread @Mum2Fergus

OP what I would do is leave him alone. If you don’t want anything serious there must be far less complicated options out there- not a colleague who is in a relationship.

Yep, reply...sorry OP.

Lurkingandlearning · 01/03/2025 09:20

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Well done.

Do you think he’s a player though?😬

The “well done” wasn’t a joke

BananaBubbless · 01/03/2025 09:26

Who cares? Get on with your work and shut him
down. He’s probably bored and trying to pass time at work.

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