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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Leaving emotionally abusive relationship

1 reply

Will91 · 28/02/2025 17:38

Hey,

I (34M) left an emotionally abusive relationship six months ago. We had been together for 14 years with numerous attempts (by me) to leave before finally doing so (one break lasting up to a year where I had been promised change, that she had been to therapy (a lie), etc.). It was always the same reasons - silent treatment and her attempts to isolate me from my family.

Despite going through therapy myself and attempting to answer this, I am really struggling with the guilt of the effect on my three year old son. I wanted him to have the best life and I feel that it will always be different for him. I know that he is sad and confused. I understand that I cannot go back to a relationship for a child's sake only for them to witness the abuse, wrong way to love someone, etc. but it is HARD even six months on. It is also incredibly hard leaving someone you love because they will continue to abuse and will not change, despite their promises to do so. Its the broken dreams, working so hard for the family life you envisaged only for it to be ruined.

Has anyone been in a similar position and if so, have you got any tips or pointers on how you got through this?

Thanks,
Will

OP posts:
theboffinsarecoming · 28/02/2025 17:58

You want your dc to have his best life. He can now.

He was never going to have his best life growing up in a home where his mum was being abused by his dad.

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