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Relationships

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Spouse hiding debts

2 replies

ThisBlueTurtle · 28/02/2025 14:31

So found out yesterday that my husband of 5 years has been lying to me about money. He'd fallen asleep while watching tv on his phone, so I was turning it off when I saw notifications from his Lloyds banking app. This showed that he has separate account where his salary is paid in, he does a bank transfer to our joint account but for £600 month less than his salary. He also has several other incomes from cleaning jobs which again he's not contributing to joint account or being honest about doing. Instead he tells me that he's doing exercise to help his prostate (again saying hes got stage 1 cancer but no confirmation from hospital of such). He has several loans, highest one I saw was £10k but don't know if there's more or what he used them for. He recently promised me he had no debt (as are trying to remortgage). On top of this there are regular expenditure at pubs, none of which he tells me about. He's not open to discussing any of this and got aggressive at me when he saw me holding his phone.

We've held a joint bank account since we got married in which my salary is paid direct and all expenditure ie bills are paid from jointly. I put all the deposit down for our house myself.

I feel betrayed and angry that he's not being honest with me. And feel like I can't trust what he says which doesn't feel like a healthy relationship.

We have 2 young children (2 + 4) and I can't afford to pay mortgage alone.

What would you do? Advice please

OP posts:
mrsmagooandtheblueshoe · 28/02/2025 15:06

I'm sorry Op, that doesn't sound good.

I'd start by checking your credit rating to check whether he has been taking debt out in your name.

ThisBlueTurtle · 28/02/2025 15:39

I checked today and still saying excellent score for me luckily.

OP posts:
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