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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

He is pestering me

11 replies

Devonap · 28/02/2025 11:14

I met a guy years ago at a hiking group. It was only ever friends. He has a habit of messaging once a week but he does this to a lot people as he is a socialite as I see comments on his feed which say they have got his message etc.

I suspect he has a crush on me as in the past he invited me and some of his friends to hikes. He will end his messages with a green love heart of love heart in the eyes and a kiss. I don’t feel comfortable as I have a partner who I adore. I try and keep messages brief and polite. He is annoying me now as I will leave it days to reply and then he send a load of spam memes through to he get my attention. I don’t read them but can see the notification come through as I am not giving in to replying back. I told him in lockdown to stop sending spam memes as I don’t like them.

I said I went for a meal on Valentines with my partner and he didn’t acknowledge this but usually acknowledges other things I have said. I want this nonsense to stop as I am not romantically interested in this guy and am happy with my partner.

OP posts:
Menopants · 28/02/2025 11:16

Block him

AlphaApple · 28/02/2025 11:19

Yes, just block him!

Iamallowedtodisagreewithyou · 28/02/2025 11:20

Ask him to stop then. Not tell him about the valentines meal you had.

AgnesX · 28/02/2025 11:22

Have you made it clear you're not interested and never will be.

Tell him and tell him that the emojis are annoying.

YesImawitch · 28/02/2025 11:23

Just block him
For goodness sake!

Ineedanotherholidaynow · 28/02/2025 11:23

Delete and block

Foxlovesfruit · 28/02/2025 11:40

I suspect you won't be the only one he's behaving this way with. He probably has a huge ego and craves lots of female attention. Just ignore him, he might not even notice with all the other women he's pursuing. I have been there and like you, in a happy relationship. I just stopped replying and kept my distance. He shut up eventually.

ItGhoul · 28/02/2025 11:50

I'd just block him.

If there's some reason you can't do that without an explanation, you need to reply to him and say 'Please stop messaging me. It's making me uncomfortable and I don't want or receive messages with hearts and kisses from anyone but my partner, neither do I want to receive lots of memes from anyone when I don't reply to their message. Thanks.'

I would then block him if he replies with anything more than a short 'Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable and I won't do it again.' If he's angry, block him. If he demands further explanation, block him. If he's hurt and self-pitying, block him. On everything.

Original poster
Devonap · 28/02/2025 11:51

Foxlovesfruit · 28/02/2025 11:40

I suspect you won't be the only one he's behaving this way with. He probably has a huge ego and craves lots of female attention. Just ignore him, he might not even notice with all the other women he's pursuing. I have been there and like you, in a happy relationship. I just stopped replying and kept my distance. He shut up eventually.

Yeah, he does it to another woman who is in a relationship and has a baby. Her and her partner invite him out and he still posts comments on her posts with kisses etc.

OP posts:
Original poster
Devonap · 28/02/2025 11:52

ItGhoul · 28/02/2025 11:50

I'd just block him.

If there's some reason you can't do that without an explanation, you need to reply to him and say 'Please stop messaging me. It's making me uncomfortable and I don't want or receive messages with hearts and kisses from anyone but my partner, neither do I want to receive lots of memes from anyone when I don't reply to their message. Thanks.'

I would then block him if he replies with anything more than a short 'Sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel uncomfortable and I won't do it again.' If he's angry, block him. If he demands further explanation, block him. If he's hurt and self-pitying, block him. On everything.

Thank you, I suppose he needs to be told his behaviour is inappropriate and he can modify it or be blocked. I personally don’t think it’s right he messages me weekly when I haven’t seen him in over 3 years.

OP posts:
Drdancer · 28/02/2025 11:54

Absolutely block him. He may see any replies you send as some sort of idea that he has a chance with you.

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