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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

Friendship regrets

4 replies

Avatarstoo · 27/02/2025 13:41

I am 41 now and have friendship regrets. Before 2012 I had some friends who I had to get rid of as one was a narcissist who would always put me down. Another threatened to slash my tyres as I said I wanted to start some new hobbies, she used to do this whenever people wanted to enhance their life and she felt threatened she would be forgotten about.

I joined Meetup.com groups in 2012 and found people only went if they were at a loose end. There was no common ground as people wanted to go to free bar nights out. I made some friends but as soon as they met partners they ditched everyone and it got worse after lockdown. Some of these same people ditched others in the social circle too yet have time for others. A number of them I had to get rid of as they had absolutely hatred for friends who did not have the same political views and would post negative politics articles on a daily basis.

I have real friends not at social groups I made before 2012 but they are so busy we don’t meet up much. I wish I could meet some genuinely nice people who don’t drink or moan about politics all the time or their ‘problems’ 24/7. It gets me down I haven’t got friends who I have common ground with.

Looking back I wish I never went to Meetup.com groups as there are better places out there to meet people.

OP posts:
Maitri108 · 27/02/2025 14:49

You need to work on spotting trouble before you invite it out for coffee. It might be an idea to reflect on why you tolerated people who put you down and threatened to slash your tyres.

Stay far away from people who moan all the time and do nothing but talk about themselves. You're responsible for who you have in your life so it might help to be a bit more proactive.

Original poster
Avatarstoo · 27/02/2025 15:24

Maitri108 · 27/02/2025 14:49

You need to work on spotting trouble before you invite it out for coffee. It might be an idea to reflect on why you tolerated people who put you down and threatened to slash your tyres.

Stay far away from people who moan all the time and do nothing but talk about themselves. You're responsible for who you have in your life so it might help to be a bit more proactive.

I know I need to filter them out more thought I did meet a lot of these people 15 years ago plus and am wise now. The tyres woman was someone I met on a degree and showed this side of herself years later, I had no idea at the beginning.

OP posts:
Mary46 · 27/02/2025 15:33

Hi op do you like walking. My friend does parkruns she in a choir too. Def gets her out. My son hikes meets friends in that. I have few friends but people so busy now hard tie them to mertups

Original poster
Avatarstoo · 27/02/2025 15:34

Mary46 · 27/02/2025 15:33

Hi op do you like walking. My friend does parkruns she in a choir too. Def gets her out. My son hikes meets friends in that. I have few friends but people so busy now hard tie them to mertups

I used to be in some hiking groups years ago and found the people were always friendly there. I should go back. Thanks for your helpful suggestion.

OP posts:
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