What would you think?

[4Clover4]

If you had a child with someone, split when pregnant, child isn't very young (deliberately being vague but over 5 under 10) but the child has never met any of the fathers family or been to their house would you find this strange or think they are hiding them? Just wondered what people would think of this.

I think you've missed a bit out of your OP. Does the father have them for the weekend or overnights, if so how regularly?

They've never been to the father's house so no he doesn't have them overnight or weekends? Not sure how that would work otherwise he only visits the child

Yes it's strange, has he given a reason why he hasn't introduced his child to his family?

Yes, it’s strange all around. Strange that he has never really parented his child ever or spent any quality time with them (a visit is not quality time). And strange that his family is not involved.

That said, I know a couple men like this who have pretty much abandoned their children and have either never met them or very limited and the man’s family knows of the child but has chosen to actively pretend they don’t exist. They are both married to new partners (one with several more children) and their new partners seem to think it is perfectly okay and normal (I know both the new partners as well as one of the mums). Some people have very low standards for their partners and their sons, etc.

Just excuses of living too far and having no room for them to stay meaning they can't meet the family for those reasons

I’d be wondering why he was hiding his child from his family and was their a wife/partner/other children that he wasn’t honest about.

How far away? Could the child cope with both travel times and the visit, ie 2 hours there, 3 hours visit, 2 hours back? That would be too much for a young child especially if their main parent wasn't around. So that wouldn't be strange in itself. I never saw my paternal grandparents regularly as they were south and we were in the north, maybe once every three years, but we exchanged cards and letters and said hello the odd times they phoned. I knew them, they knew me, we just didn't visit.

Do his parents/family know about the child, seen photographs, has child been mentioned on his SM? Does he talk about his family to the child?

His family don't know the child exists. He's keeping it a secret. Was he already married when the child was conceived or has he married since?

No I haven't got with a married man and wasn't the OW I'm suspecting it's someone he has met since that he is hiding them from. He says they know about them but I have no proof of that obviously, they don't call or send anything, no birthday or Xmas presents nothing at all. I would say they are old enough to visit it would be about 2 hours each way but we often travel that for days out anyway

Sounds like your child has been kept secret.

I thought I was being paranoid but it does feel that way