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Relationships

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One transgression

7 replies

upsidedownyoureturningme · 26/02/2025 19:11

I met a guy online a month ago and things were going really well we were texting each other every day, regularly going on dates and talked about going away for a weekend. Cut to last week we went out on Monday evening then, as I was children free on a whim I suggested meeting again on the Tue evening. He said he was tired, maybe coming down with something & would be having a magnesium bath & an early night. That same evening I was looking at his photos on the app we met which also showed his live location which showed him not to be at home & in a different neighbourhood to where he lived. That night at 11.30pm he text saying he'd been asleep at home and had woken did I want to chat. He called and I said 'can we be really honest', did he want to meet other people and he said no & asked me if I wanted to see other people I said no. Eventually I said I'd seen via the app that he was in a different neighbourhood he said he'd gone to drop off recycling which seemed odd. We said good night and a few days later he text saying I'd crossed the line & that I'd tracked his movements, that he'd thought we'd have long term potential but this has changed his mind. I've not heard from him since and am so upset!...I'd tried saying that I was just innocently looking at his photos but he's not reading my messages. Do you think he reacted harshly?

OP posts:
TwistedWonder · 26/02/2025 19:14

No he hasn’t acted harshly. He is correct, you did cross a line very early on. You were stalking his movements and waving a huge red flag

If this was the other way round and the guy did this, MN would be pretty much unanimous saying run a mile and the sexes being reversed doesn’t change that.

GarrynotsoGorilla · 26/02/2025 19:18

As above, you don't indicate that there was any previous reasons to doubt his behaviour. Assuming there are non I think you need to consider if you have trust issues. He could well have had other perfectly innocent plans and just not felt that they were appropriate justification for not seeing you so given the reason he did.

Going on to check his location and question him on it shows you aren't able.to.trust him.

You have to ask yourself why. What has happened at this early stage to create doubts? If the answer is nothing, then I suggest you need to week some counselling to deal with your issues.

outerspacepotato · 26/02/2025 19:19

No. You were tracking him and checking up on him via an app. Totally justified dumping. Stop that, it's rude and intrusive.

Astronautstar · 26/02/2025 19:21

I'm afraid I would have a problem with someone tracking my movements too. I think you have to let this one go.

GarrynotsoGorilla · 26/02/2025 19:24

I think that if he has set his app to share location which it sounds as though he has then he has a reasonable expectation that friends / partners might. The issue was questioning him about it you just had to accept that he had made an excuse not to see you because he had other plans that he didn't want to tell you about, and either you are comfortable with that or not.

Chuchoter · 26/02/2025 20:15

At this stage you didn't know him well enough to know if he was lying to you or not about his whereabouts and why, but from his point of view you went straight into bunny boiler mode.

category12 · 26/02/2025 20:23

Well either he was feeling it was a bit full-on meeting again on the Tuesday and wanted to let you down gently, or he's dating other people, or he was dropping off recycling. Who knows.

But yeah, being caught out like that is never going to go well.

What did you expect the outcome to be, really?

How would you react to being tracked like that?

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