Hi. Just a sense check required really. H and I separated last year after years of arguing turned emotional abuse, 1 dc in the middle (not his but he's been in her life since she was 2, she's now 10). Very protracted split and talks of reconciling but the anger on both sides was just too much. He is an awful communicator, has always been very angry and reactive, sulky etc. It was actually a relief when we decided we were done for good, as for a long time I have felt panicky at the sight of his name in my texts or emails. We filed jointly for divorce in the new year and I sorted out transferring all joint bills to him to take over the tenancy, and we each took half our joint accounts. No other assets except some joint savings- no joint kids, property, etc. I thought it would be an easy-ish divorce because of this, we wanted to avoid legal fees especially me as my income is now a quarter of what it was with him and in my job role there is little room for progression anytime soon.
Anyway he was still sending nasty emails calling me a cheater, narcissist, abusive etc and I just stopped responding. The clock has started on our divorce but we dont have to resolve finances until the 26 weeks is up as fas as I understand, and we have a date for that in June. Right now our split has kind of caused me to have a mental health crisis, I've taken some time off work and am doing some therapy to deal with the issues I developed in my marriage, I'm experiencing a lot of depression interspersed with anger, and comms from him trigger this. He blames me for everything and is very nasty to me if we ever communicate. He sent me a slightly milder one 4 days ago saying I need to get legal advice so we can agree a financial settlement between us and avoid going to court. I already knew that and I didnt respond. We do also have until June obviously. Right now, I just can't think about it- I'm trying to focus on dc who isn't doing great. I am planning to speak to a lawyer in a couple of weeks, and everything else is sorted re the practical side of the split- I have my own rental. now, etc.
He has now sent me a chasing email saying "You have to respond to my emails."
Sorry if this was a hugely long winded way to get to this part but- I dont HAVE to respond to his emails, right? I feel like he is still trying to intimidate and control me like he did for years. The divorce is ticking, our living situations and day to day finances are separate, no more legal stuff can be done til June.
I would love some support as I just feel incredibly anxious right now and he is still in my head. I am finding it hard to cope and I wish he would just give me some space. He definitely doesnt want to reconcile and neither do I, so it just seems so unfair at this point. I dont want to communicate with him directly right now.
AIBU?