don't get on with MIL do I have to be here when she visits??

[kite]

Hi

I don't really get on with my mil, there is no love lost from either of us.

She never rings or txt's me which I am fine about. My Dad & sister are both very sick at the moment & she never asks how they are doing - which is fine but she has sent a txt from her phone while on hols to all our phones saying how fab it is ( now this has got up my nose that she can txt me about her flippin hols but not about people who I care about who are very ill!!).

So when she comes back off holidays she will want to visit - do I have to be here?? We only meet her every 3 months or so, DS is 2.5 yrs old now & she will only see him when there is an audience of people ( ie- christmas, birthdays - easter) she will never just call for a visit.

I am fed up with the whole thing so can I take my ds off for the day & leave her to it with DH after all it's his mother??

Thanks for reading I feel a bit better now it's off my chest

Hi, I sympathise as my MIL is the same. It also started when I got pg. She tried her best to make me abort DD (offered to pay halves with my mum). She then tried to make DH dump me and sat hime down and told him all the things he could never do if we had a child. We stayed together and when DD was born she made it clear that she wanted to keep control of DH and have him and DD with me excluded. She came round daily and refused to ring and 'make an appointment' with her son. She said she and DH were 'the family' and me and DCs were his (DHs) 'extended family'!! So she should come first! She often got step FIL to threaten DH and say he had caused her to go on medication since he left home. I didn't agree with DH taking DD round on his own as I felt that she should have to accept me as DDs mother. I also didn't want DD to grow up wondering why mummy was treated so bad/ignored and not allowed to DH family home. Why should I exclude myself just cos MIL couldn't handle her son leaving home and her control. So she has mostly had to see us all as a family and after a couple of years she was civil to me. More than 10 years on we have had our moments but we 'get on' to a point and she sees the kids etc etc, not in the way she would like (ie full control) but still.

"She tried her best to make me abort DD (offered to pay halves with my mum)"

It has all worked out really well . She called DH yesterday on his mobile saying she was coming today, but unfortunately he is away today with work up the country so he said he wouldn't be back until late tonight (which is true he is 3hrs away).

So he said what he will do to save her travelling is call down to her on Sunday .

I am delighted, panic diverted and I get to spend a lovely day on Sunday with my DS & MIL gets a day with her DS!!