Is this emotional abuse from Husband?

[tamagnochi]

He speaks to kids harshly and struggles with his mental health.. I don't know what to do.. it's causing tension and an atmosphere.. he has lately been distancing himself and saying I don't care and have no empathy for his unhappiness...

I'm struggling to stay afloat with SEN child.. he hates our current life and is never present but checked out..

He made a threat to me this evening saying "you dare say something again and see what happens..?" Really unlike him and uncomfortable.. he said I wouldn't care if he slit his wrists, which is of course untrue!!

We do clash and I have told him to lighten up his tone and the way he speaks to the kids..

He provides financially and I take care of everything else.. he said I made no effort for his birthday and I only care about the kids...

He is unhappy and I think we need to change something asap.. I get a strong feeling he may have cheated recently:/ not sure but something is telling me

What on earth to do here..?

Tell him to leave, call the non emergency police line and report his threat.
Yes, he’s abusive.

He sounds like he’s struggling and needs help; but that is no excuse for treating you all so badly and threatening you. You say he’s changed, is he on drugs? What does he say when you talk to him about it? He needs to agree that he’s got a problem and to get help, or you need to make your new life with your children and start to enjoy life again. It won’t be long before he’s threatening the children or treating you all even worse.

Agree he does sound like he's struggling, am sure you both are.
What is he speaking harshly to dc about? How many and how old? Are you the sahp and hes sole earner? Do you have different parenting styles?

He is struggling

But where can I direct him to get help??

He's been so distant for a long time

He has no interest in family life it's me constantly trying to bring us together, to do stuff

Maybe stop thinking it's your job to help him.
He's a grown man. If he wanted help or change, he'd do it himself.
He obviously doesn't care much about how his behaviour affects others.

You can't make him do anything. All you can do is decide whether this is how you want yourself and your children to live.

Yes it’s not your job; but if he doesn’t know where to go to get help I think his gp would be first option. It might take time but at least he would be acknowledging it’s his responsibility and making a start. Then he could start looking into other options himself.

Did he threaten you again last night? I'm sure you posted before.

How is he at work? Is he coping?

I would tell him that you're tired of his moods, the way he talks to you and the children. I would also say that you're supporting him as best you can given your other responsibilities and you'd like him to get help.

That help would include going to the GP to discuss medication and therapy. A change of lifestyle if it's unhealthy and being more mindful of how he talks to you and the children.

If he threatens to kill himself then dial 999 or phone NHS Direct and speak to the mental health team.

I'm sorry OP it sounds like he is checked out and getting ready to leave.

Please look at your finances and how you would manage apart.