Husband struggles being a dad..

[tamagnochi]

He speaks to kids harshly and struggles with his mental health.. I don't know what to do.. it's causing tension and an atmosphere.. he has lately been distancing himself and saying I don't care and have no empathy for his unhappiness...

I'm struggling to stay afloat with SEN child.. he hates our current life and is never present but checked out..

He made a threat to me this evening saying "you dare say something again and see what happens..?" Really unlike him and uncomfortable.. he said I wouldn't care if he slit his wrists, which is of course untrue!!

We do clash and I have told him to lighten up his tone and the way he speaks to the kids..

He provides financially and I take care of everything else.. he said I made no effort for his birthday and I only care about the kids...

He is unhappy and I think we need to change something asap.. I get a strong feeling he may have cheated recently:/ not sure but something is telling me

What on earth to do here..?

Also proceeds to tell me "I'm useless" this evening and unsupportive

I'd be removing my kids and myself from the toxic environment and getting a divorce. What positives is he bringing to your lives?

Couple counseling??

He has therapy once a month..

I'm not sure couples counselling would work but I'd be happy to try

@LegoTherapy not sure I would know where to go...

I would speak to your children's health team such as school nursing or health visiting. Make them aware of the situation that your children are being exposed to.
They could offer direction to your husband on parenting classes.
If he declines then it will be noted on your children's records.

The reason I say this is that he isn't coping despite you being present. If you weren't there as a buffer the children's safety might be at risk.

You will have it on file that he's not willing to engage and this will help protect the children with regards to custody.

He needs supervised visits and regular sign offs with the mental health team he's supported by to ensure the welfare of your children when you leave.

Leave when it's safe only. Tell your employer (previous if this is the case). You're at the position of high risk of domestic abuse relationship.

I have one of those. We're at the beginning of a nasty divorce. I'm sorry but Be prepared.

I don't work and I home educate full time

My son is not at a school