Cheating on partner

[BusyCrab]

I cheated on my long term partner many years ago, I feel like a bad person, what do I do?

Are you still together?
Do you have a happy relationship now?
Why did you cheat?

Yes it was wrong, but if you regret it and are sorry, then I think you need to try and forgive yourself and move on. Telling your partner may throw off the burden but is likely to throw a bomb under the relationship and assuming you both love each other now, may not be advised.

It was years ago so I would do nothing.

Actions have consequences. Presumably coming clean is likely to end your relationship now? Either do that and take that consequence, or live with the knowledge of what you did and don’t do it again. Really depends on what you want and where you are right now. Don’t expect to unburden yourself and be forgiven.

Why cheat?
Are you still together?
Dose he/she know or is the guilt eating at you?

This is MN so someone will tell you if he dont know keep your mouth shut and move on you have done nothing wrong it was him that made you do it drove you to get love somewhere else its his fault not yours.

If its a HE that as cheated then your scum and should be kicked to the curb LTB thats how it goes on here.

Many years ago? Are you still with your partner? Do you still see the person you cheated with? What do you need help /advice with?

I think you may be a man. And seeing what response you get before you "come out"
Am I right or wrong?

Forget it. It's all in the past.

I’m a woman, we was going through a really bad time ages ago and I didn’t feel good enough. he dosent know but now we are good I feel like a bad person

This

So sorry you feel like you're a bad person for being unfaithful, you ought not to. But, I've been in exactly that position, and sooner or later it will come out. Possibly unintentionally, or as in my case, because the guilt becomes all consuming, I ended up confessing about 5 years after the event. Initially I regretted confessing but in hindsight I couldn't go on living with it. We split briefly, got back together, but ultimately I couldn't take his pain away, he really was suffering and has been for all of these years. He tried to bury it, conceal it, distract himself but it was always there underneath the surface. Eventually, afterva little short of 30 years, we/I decided the best thing for him was to separate which we did. But remarkably we hung on as co-parents and friends, and by the time our youngest was off to Uni, we were best mates. We've holidayed/travelled together, and atm I suppose we're sort of on/off. But if I'd never told him I know we'd never have got to this point. I love him 💯, I absolutely don't know why I did what I did, it really was unforgivable to such a truly gentle, lovely man, but you can't live with that forever.