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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

I have so much to be happy about but I’m kind of not.

8 replies

Somethingmissing1 · 24/02/2025 08:51

I have so much to be happy in life. It’s not perfect, I share a child with an abusive ex who likes to make things hard but other than that I’m in a good position. Loving partner, house etc etc. But something is missing and I’m not sure what it is but I’m just not feeling fulfilled. I have a part time job that I dislike but go to get me out of the house. I have 2 children, one is not quite 2.

Something is getting me down. Has anyone felt like this? I can’t decide if it’s my age, 41 or if something is missing that I could change or do to make me feel more “complete” I guess. No family issues or any issues in general.

OP posts:
wherearemypastnames · 24/02/2025 09:02

It seems to be a problematic age - many people feel ground down by the day to day , repetitive grind of raising a family - for most people things are looking brighter by their 50s ( a long way away that must feel )

and hormones can start to go awry - if you get any other menopause symptoms even though you are quite young I would ask about HRT

But if you don't like the job you should look to change it because there is no paint spending hours of your life each week on something that you hate if you can avoid it

Also do you have much time for a hobby for you ? Meeting a friend , gym, leaning Spanish whatever ?

ThatMerryReader · 24/02/2025 11:12

Do you have friends?

Original poster
Somethingmissing1 · 24/02/2025 11:48

ThatMerryReader · 24/02/2025 11:12

Do you have friends?

A few but I find I’m always doing the work of arranging things.

OP posts:
Original poster
Somethingmissing1 · 24/02/2025 11:50

wherearemypastnames · 24/02/2025 09:02

It seems to be a problematic age - many people feel ground down by the day to day , repetitive grind of raising a family - for most people things are looking brighter by their 50s ( a long way away that must feel )

and hormones can start to go awry - if you get any other menopause symptoms even though you are quite young I would ask about HRT

But if you don't like the job you should look to change it because there is no paint spending hours of your life each week on something that you hate if you can avoid it

Also do you have much time for a hobby for you ? Meeting a friend , gym, leaning Spanish whatever ?

I don’t really have much spare time but I’m not sure what I would do with it anyway. I do feel a bit lost at the moment. Everything is about kids and that’s about it. Little one basically cries and ruins days out for the big one, it’s not much fun.

OP posts:
OhMehGoddess · 24/02/2025 12:26

For me it's been age related to my hormones changing, it all changes throughout the month too and with my cycle all over the place. I can't predict it. Def know it's peri, it all started January '24 for me.

I don't like it at all.

Original poster
Somethingmissing1 · 24/02/2025 12:49

OhMehGoddess · 24/02/2025 12:26

For me it's been age related to my hormones changing, it all changes throughout the month too and with my cycle all over the place. I can't predict it. Def know it's peri, it all started January '24 for me.

I don't like it at all.

No I don’t like it at all and it feels very up and down. Did anything help?

OP posts:
wherearemypastnames · 24/02/2025 13:46

I think you need to carve out some time each week for yourself and you need to start thinking about what you like and enjoy and the. Do a bit of it

We can generate a huge list of things you could try - or just get some exercise

If it's peri and it's bad for you HRT HRT HRT

YesThatsATurdOnTheRug · 24/02/2025 13:47

I always feel refreshed from time away - either with friends or with DH. Is that a possibility?

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