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Original poster

So low

9 replies

superplumb · 23/02/2025 18:19

Going through a divorce after catching my husband cheating.
He's rarely seen our children in the last 4 weeks since he moved out. I'm doing it all on my own, the food, snacks housework lunches ironing cleaning. I'm utterly exhausted and so depressed.
Meanwhile he's still with the ow, going out for drinks with his mates and dinners with her.
I've nothing to ask really but just a rant that I've got the shitty end of the stick. Just down and shattered .

OP posts:
Thisandthatandthensome · 23/02/2025 18:21

I'm so sorry you are going through this. Some people find it easy to check outvog their responsibilities.

Look after yourself

WakingUpToReality · 23/02/2025 18:23

Would you want him to have the kids 50-50? Because if so, he should start now?

CuteEasterBunny · 23/02/2025 18:23

Put your foot down and tell him you need to come up with a childcare schedule.

Drop the ball on the ironing and anything else that you can. It’s unfair that he gets to swan around with his latest interest. How any woman can behave like they’ve won while he’s ignoring his dad duties is beyond me.

Orangesinthebag · 23/02/2025 19:01

How old are your children?
He definitely needs to step up and do his bit & he also needs to be paying his fair share too.

The only consolation to offer is that you will be the constant in your children's lives and one day they will see the difference between what you and their father do for them.

Original poster
superplumb · 24/02/2025 07:28

Children are 11 and 9.
Agree he does need to but apparently I can't make him see them. Any decent dad whould want to. He thinks the odd phone call to the eldest makes him a good dad.

OP posts:
Everintroverte · 24/02/2025 07:35

I hear you, it's absolutely ridiculously frustrating at the time and the exhaustion is real. Do you have CMS sorted? Have you an agreed schedule for access? If not, I would be getting in contact and asking to discuss a schedule. Start at 50/50 and ask which days he can have the kids moving forward.

Just because he was a cheating prat and left his marriage doesn't also mean he can also forget about his children.

Original poster
superplumb · 24/02/2025 08:18

Everintroverte · 24/02/2025 07:35

I hear you, it's absolutely ridiculously frustrating at the time and the exhaustion is real. Do you have CMS sorted? Have you an agreed schedule for access? If not, I would be getting in contact and asking to discuss a schedule. Start at 50/50 and ask which days he can have the kids moving forward.

Just because he was a cheating prat and left his marriage doesn't also mean he can also forget about his children.

We can't do 50.50 as he leaves for work at 5am and he lives over an hour away from us now.
Still early stages if divorce so all money is still going into joint account. Havnt done maintenance. Done the calculation on gov site and its a pittance

OP posts:
Corneliafunk · 24/02/2025 08:19

Did he see the kids a lot/do much stuff with them in the years before the split? Or were you doing it all?
regardless I am so sorry you are going through this. Have you got family and friends who can step in and give you some practical help? And provide some emotional support?

Original poster
superplumb · 24/02/2025 08:47

Corneliafunk · 24/02/2025 08:19

Did he see the kids a lot/do much stuff with them in the years before the split? Or were you doing it all?
regardless I am so sorry you are going through this. Have you got family and friends who can step in and give you some practical help? And provide some emotional support?

I did the majority but he helped with ironing lunches etc. My parents help but they're elderly

OP posts:
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