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Original poster

Partner following OFs

7 replies

Tobeanothertime · 23/02/2025 07:23

I wanted to see if this would upset other women in long term relationships. Been together 12 years and have a child .
i was trying to find a mutual friend on his following list on instagram as they had a weird username I couldnt find on the search and saw partner was following a half naked woman . Curiosity got the better of me and I clicked on their profile and it is an OF woman using Instagram as a way of drumming up business as there’s a link to her content in her bio .
I then could see he was following multiple accounts for the same person so couldn’t have been an accidental follow and they are not following him back .
i was quite repulsed that he is looking at this type of content and it’s really made me look at him a different way . Relationship was already quite rocky and this has made me think if I’m over reacting.
how would others feel about this ?

OP posts:
DustyLee123 · 23/02/2025 07:34

I wouldn’t like it. But maybe it’s the push you need?

LivingOnTheVeg · 23/02/2025 07:35

I wouldn’t stand it for it.

Mumsgotaheadache01 · 23/02/2025 07:51

I've been married a long time now. And I know my husband follows/looks at some spicy girls on his social media. He doesn't hide it and it isn't a problem for me. These women are gorgeous, fit and very provocative. But he knows they'd never be interested in him. It's all a bit of a fantasy I think. I'm very comfortable in my skin . I'm late 30s. I am confident in the fact that he is "just looking ". And if he enjoys it, bless him. Then he can carry on. I myself might possibly follow a few hunky lumberjacks who chop wood in their pants in the middle of a forest. Our motto is "just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't look at the cakes".

highstoolfling · 23/02/2025 08:19

What does it matter what others feel. You said you're repulsed. You won't get over that feeling I promise you. He has dropped in your estimation. He will probably make little of it if you get upset about it. Say he's only looking blah blah. . . Sounds to me like the Universe is offering you a door to walk through to get out of this rocky relationship. Walk through it.

Original poster
Tobeanothertime · 23/02/2025 08:34

Thank you for the responses . I only ask really because my outlook is skewed as , and sorry I don’t mean to drip feed , he has a history of messaging other women (female work colleagues / acquaintances) being overally friendly and flirty .so following someone like this on Instagram opens up potential doors to interacting . I don’t think he would pay to see content but then why does he need to follow her ? He could just look up her username when he wants to have a look ? As everyone can see he follows her and he uses his instagram for work aswell So it just looks so unprofessional. My feelings on this have been minimised before when I’ve brought it up (not about OF though) and I’m made to feel like I’m insecure and it’s a me thing .almost like now I can’t see the wood for the trees if that makes sense

OP posts:
bifurCAT · 23/02/2025 08:47

Mumsgotaheadache01 · 23/02/2025 07:51

I've been married a long time now. And I know my husband follows/looks at some spicy girls on his social media. He doesn't hide it and it isn't a problem for me. These women are gorgeous, fit and very provocative. But he knows they'd never be interested in him. It's all a bit of a fantasy I think. I'm very comfortable in my skin . I'm late 30s. I am confident in the fact that he is "just looking ". And if he enjoys it, bless him. Then he can carry on. I myself might possibly follow a few hunky lumberjacks who chop wood in their pants in the middle of a forest. Our motto is "just because you're on a diet, doesn't mean you can't look at the cakes".

This. There's a big difference between seeing something, and acting on it. Checking half-naked Thor/Chris Hemsworth is no different, for example.

H112 · 23/02/2025 08:51

Tobeanothertime · 23/02/2025 08:34

Thank you for the responses . I only ask really because my outlook is skewed as , and sorry I don’t mean to drip feed , he has a history of messaging other women (female work colleagues / acquaintances) being overally friendly and flirty .so following someone like this on Instagram opens up potential doors to interacting . I don’t think he would pay to see content but then why does he need to follow her ? He could just look up her username when he wants to have a look ? As everyone can see he follows her and he uses his instagram for work aswell So it just looks so unprofessional. My feelings on this have been minimised before when I’ve brought it up (not about OF though) and I’m made to feel like I’m insecure and it’s a me thing .almost like now I can’t see the wood for the trees if that makes sense

He is probably doing this again.

You let him get away with messaging(cheating) so now he has a big ego and can do what he likes with 0 consequences from you op

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