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Original poster

Uncomfortable play fight

31 replies

Goldusty · 22/02/2025 22:06

Dd's best friend has a close relationship with her own dad and they often play fight .Dd's friend is 18. However tonight DD's friend has asked DD whether her dad My (DH) has ever accidentally grabbed DD's buttock in a play fight ?! Apparently this is what the friends dad has done tonight. The dad had apologised profusely as DD's friend felt incredibly uncomfortable and embarrassed though she now feels she might be overreacting. Not sure how to help DD advise.

OP posts:
JessiesJ99 · 24/02/2025 08:16

This reply has been deleted

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TwoRobins · 24/02/2025 08:42

How are they expecting to have a play fight and NOT accidently touch no-go areas? Hopefully, this will make them come to their senses and realise their play fighting is not appropriate.

LilacLilias · 24/02/2025 08:46

As you have said that it is unusually your friend who initiates play fighting, I would advise that she stops.

This was clearly a very awkward experience and not one to be repeated!

Tillow4ever · 24/02/2025 13:14

You mention the daughter initiates the "fights" but I wonder if she has been groomed to do this.

Either way, she is uncomfortable with them - I can't imagine she's happily starting these when she's spoken up and said that sometimes her dad won't stop, touches her inappropriately, etc.

Just because he's her dad, doesn't mean he's not a danger to her sexually. There was an awful post on here a week or so ago that was full of horrific stories of abuse in the home, and far, far too often it was the biological father.

Is her mum at home? Would it be worth encouraging her to tell her mum she wants these fights to stop?

Tillow4ever · 24/02/2025 13:16

SallyWD · 23/02/2025 09:31

Playfighting at 18 is odd. My friend has three daughters who are teenagers/in their 20s. Her partner (their stepdad) often seems to playfight or tickle the daughters. I've seen photos of them in bikinis where he's grabbing and tickling them. It makes me feel very uncomfortable. I think my friend is a little naive. I don't believe he'd be doing it if they were men. Having said that, the daughters do seem to adore him.

This is very disturbing, I can see why you feel uncomfortable. Not sure what you can do though. Maybe if the step daughters are under 18 you could report to SS?

Nanny0gg · 24/02/2025 13:48

Goldusty · 23/02/2025 07:47

Thank you everyone for your responses. I believe this is not the first time the friend's boundaries have been crossed.Apparenty friend usually initiated play fights but it almost always goes too far with friend telling dad to stop but he doesn't - usually with tickling or pinning down etc. this isn't something we do really in our house.

Ewww

He's (deliberately) taking it too far.

Where's her mum?

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