my uncle had found out im seeing a guy and is threatening all sorts

[whoopsididitagain]

his main reasoning is coz i have just seperated from hsband and he thinks im being hugely disrespectfl to my ex to be honest i did worry when we first started seeing each other but he's a lovely guy and we get on so well.

this guy is black im white my uncle is the biggest hipocrite going seing as he has been out with black mixed race asian women before

but the problem is my uncle is quite well connected and has vowed to hunt down who im seeing

my boyfriend [not thats what he is we have only just started seeing each other ] is at work so dontneed to worry too much

but should i tell him or not

im so bloody confused and embarrassed my uncle is acting this way

i really dont know what to do for the best

tia xx

Is your surname Kray?!

1. Tell your Uncle to Do One as the kids say

1. Then tell him any further threats will be reported to the Police

1. Then ignore the sad, sad man and Have a Life

if youwere still with H then its disrespecful- after a split is not an issue

Do I take it if H was seeing someone he'd get this too?

no he would nt my ex is the one my uncle is sidng with coz i left him.

my surname isnt kray no but its a similar situation which has never really impaced my life in any way before now

but thank you for being so plain speaking coz its true

I'm with Peachy. But I would tell your boyfriend - it's only fair to let him know.

well he's at work til 12 so cant tell him til then anyway bt i will

how do you tell someone your pyscho uncle is threatening to beat hem to a pulp and then say by the way it was nice knowing you as i know now your never gonna see me again

Whoops, my family is a bit Kray-like (not such violence but there's hundreds of then nd they can be a bit scary en masse), my Maiden name is Known back home! so I know what it's like but all you can do is make it clear you're not part of that existence (when it suits- used to use my maiden name at work LOL as I had to go into some quite risky situations alone)

Dunno about your lot but mine are only a problem when they get their stupid heads together- reaction to DV with an Aunt with dad when just him: [homne number of refuge; when it happened when there were several brothers there- Uncle popped through glass window

You have to opt out of it all very verbally imo.

well i rang my ex and told him and trns out he's just met someone and they are getting on well

he just told me to think hard about how it will affect my little one if things get seious

so im not so worried now coz if my ncle speaks to him he will be cool abot it

least you and ex are singing the same song as it were.

my family's like peachys - and i've never ever associated myself with my (is mothers maiden name) as our family is mahoosive, fantastic for a party, on the other hand not so good if theres trouble.

re your uncle in some respects I know your fear - in others he needs to butt out and give you some space, my unlcles are meeting dp tonight - bit worried as they're very very protective of me and ds, & am anxious they all get on - how about you controlling a situation where you could sit down with your uncle?

failing that my other tatic I use it to talk to mum about it and get her to sort her brothers out lol.

i tried that it was mum that rang me at 8 this morning to tell me he was going mental

im hoping now ive told the ex and he's ok it will be forgotten

but my family aren't huge just my uncle is ''connected'' if you get me

Remember that your uncle is wrong and an arsehole for behaving like this. You do not deserve it in any shape or form. (It's easy to feel a bit guilty when a relative is angry, even though the relative is being totally unreasonable). Is there another family member who could step in and say, 'Hey, Uncle, stop being such a dick and get a life'?

yep get you! lol. fully understand!

but as others say he's out of order - waht will he do every time you have a DP in the future?

they have buty it falls on deaf ears im hoping he wakes p and realises wat a prick he is

if he does act on it i will go to the police and he will lose more than just me and my mum

I would tell your boyfriend, because he may feel foolish being the last to know. I know that that is how I'd feel.

Your uncle sounds a strange character. You're not cheating on anybody, your ex understands it's over. Does your uncle not understand that it's OVER??

He seems a little too involved in your love life tbh. I can imagine a PARENT being really sad if their son or daughter ended a relationship with somebody they'd come to know, but such a strong reaction ('siding' with your ex, and 'threatening' to reveal your new relationship) tells me that he is WAY too involved and too interested in your life. It's not his business. He is allowed to be a part of your life if YOU choose to share it with him.

That's how I would see it any way.

I mean 'ex boyfriend'. Sorry. I've just read that your uncle is 'connected'. Janey mackers ..... I've no advice.

Actually, if your XP has happily moved on and you have a civil relationship with him, yet your uncle has taken his side, would it be worth getting XP to ring Uncle and say, look, stop being such a knob, she's a lovely girl and I wish her happiness, she just wasn't the right girl for me.

I know there's something a bit creepingly unfeminist about it, but it might be the easiest and least damaging way to fix the situation.