27 month old wants my attention all day long!!

[Concernedcheeselover]

For a couple of months, my 27 month old son has pretty much had me hostage from the moment he wakes up until he goes to sleep. I can’t do anything and it’s really affecting me mentally. Every second he wants something from me, then when it’s given to him, he decides he wants something else, almost as if it’s just a way to get my attention. When he plays, I have to sit and play with him. In the rare moment he is playing by himself and I manage to sneak away to use the loo or something, he has a meltdown when he realises I’ve gone.
If I want to brush my teeth, I have to bring my toothbrush into the living room and do it next to him, and bring my clothes in the living room and put them on next to him!

my mum has worked with children all of her life and says herself that he is “hard work”

His dad is around but works a lot so it’s DS and I most of the time and since DS isn’t at nursery he gets my attention all day long. His granny spoils him with affection, his dad is in and out a lot and spoils him with affection, so it’s not as if he’s neglected in any way!

He has just dropped his naps which I relied on to complete my degree, so I’m feeling snappy, exhausted, overwhelmed and guilty that I’m snappy with him and not able to study!

His toddler tantrums and defying everything I ask him to do (or not to do) is also not helping. Even now he’s shouting at me to get him something. I honestly feel as if I just want to hide from him sometimes.

any words of encouragement would be great. Is this normal?
does it last long?
Is it a healthy developmental thing or am I doing something wrong?

He's a normal if slightly high needs toddler. Now would be a good time to consider some nursery hours if you can afford it - he would get lots of stimulation, new experiences and learning, and you would get a break.

It's a phase. I remember sitting on the kitchen floor crying and wailing "I can't live my life with a small boy following me around making demands all day". It was a long hard phase, but a phase. My DD was never like this, so it blew my mind.

What worked was taking him out every morning, running him ragged, then at least he'd have an hour on the sofa, not asleep but watching cartoons, so I could at least get some stuff done. He also loved a long bath every night with loads of toys, I'd take my ironing board in there and crack on with jobs.

It's exhausting but not forever x

Put him in nursery

I think to an extent this is just what 2 year olds are like. The ones I know anyway!

This is one of many reasons why I didn't want to be a SAHM. It would drive me mad!

Things I found helped -

Getting out every day, lots of physical activity

Paying full attention for chunks of the day seemed to then mean they were less clingy the rest of the time - as opposed to partially paying attention the whole day

Bit of TV..

Thank you for the replies! I had not heard of the term “high needs toddler” but a search online has come up with lots of resources and the assurance that this is normal!

He’s such an affectionate, intelligent little boy, I guess I should be glad he’s so dynamic 😅

My second son was like that. Once I had to go round to my mums and ask her to listen to him whilst he just talked and talked and talked for an hour at her. I sat in a room by myself in silence with a cup of tea. It was mentally draining how much he talked and needed me.
He was lovely and always telling me how much he loved me but I never got a minutes peace ever. He needed lots of hobbies and friends. He is now nearly 16 and completely self sufficient but social and has lots of friends. My elder boy was quieter and happier in his own company. He has friends but is less social.
I think it's normal but try and make sure he can go to nursery/ pre school/ any sort of club where he can have constant socialisation. Some children just need it more than others.